BEW 11

 What should I do? What should I do?

Mary’s head felt like it was about to explode from the confusion.

She wanted to tell someone immediately about what she had witnessed, but at the same time, she wondered if she should.

“…It’s a relief that no one was around.”

From what the mistress had muttered in a self-deprecating manner, it seemed like she wanted to keep her illness a secret.

Mary was in the middle of wiping her flowing tears and struggling with her thoughts.

“Hmm? Mary? What are you doing here?”

Sienna, who had come cheerfully, was holding a watering can filled with water and was walking awkwardly.

“…Sienna.”

“What’s wrong? Are you crying?”

Sienna rushed over in shock at Mary’s tear-streaked face.

The watering can she had been holding tipped over onto the ground.

And, at that moment.

“Waa, waaah.”

Mary began to sob loudly.

What she had been suppressing and crying quietly came out the moment Sienna appeared.

“What’s wrong? What happened? Hmm?”

“It’s just… it’s just…”

Among the other maids, Mary was known for being the most rational, cold, and principled.

Seeing her cry was unusual.

Sienna thought that something serious must have happened.

After Mary finally managed to speak through her sobs.

“…Is it really true?”

Sienna asked, looking pale.

The mistress was sick. She had vomited blood.

There was no one in the mansion who disliked the mistress.

In the early days of the marriage, some people felt a bit resentful toward the mistress for her excessively sickly reactions, but now they all loved and cherished her dearly.

How could they not?

She treated everyone with such kindness, almost like a friend, and although her cooking was terrible, she always made cookies and cakes for the staff, no matter how bad they tasted.

Her warmth was evident in every little gesture.

Even the Duke seemed to feel similarly.

After the mistress changed, the Duke’s demeanor had also started to change gradually.

His usual stiff and cold face occasionally showed a smile.

Naturally, everyone at the Richter mansion hoped the current mistress would stay for a long time.

In the chilly North, her presence was like a ray of sunshine.

But now, the mistress was sick.

And not just any sickness.

She had vomited blood.

That was no ordinary matter. You wouldn’t vomit blood unless it was a serious illness.

“What should we do? What should we do, Sienna?”

Sienna swallowed nervously at Mary’s inability to calm down.

Seeing Mary so upset made Sienna feel like she had to be calm.

Sienna comforted Mary and said.

“It’s okay. It’ll be alright. For now, let’s consult the housekeeper.”

“Is that alright? The mistress seemed like she didn’t want anyone to know…”

“But if she’s really in bad shape, we need to call a doctor for treatment. It’s not certain yet, so let’s at least tell the housekeeper.”

“…Yes, that’s right. That’s the right thing to do.”

Mary, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, nodded resolutely.

The two of them immediately went to inform Barhan of the news.

Barhan’s face turned pale as well.

He, too, was someone who hoped more than anyone that Serpina would stay with the Duke and in the Richter mansion for a long time.

“Alright, I understand. Both of you should make sure this doesn’t get out. For now, I’ll call a doctor… No, first, we should ask the mistress.”

Flustered, Barhan stuttered several times.

Eventually, with a deep sigh, he continued.

“If her condition is really bad, I’ll inform the Duke.”

His furrowed brow was filled with concern.

---

“What? Another doctor?”

“Yes, Madam.”

No, why?

Why keep calling for doctors?

Barhan suddenly appeared and began checking my health.

“Do you have any pain?”

None.

“Have you… suddenly lost weight?”

No.

“Have you lost your appetite?”

I’m actually quite hungry. I eat three meals a day and always have dessert. I just ate some.

Maybe it’s because of my regained memories, but I now have a separate appetite for meals and desserts?

Despite my reassurances, Barhan’s furrowed brow showed no signs of easing.

“Why are you suddenly like this? I’m fine, healthy, and great.”

“…Ah, it’s just the worries of an old man. As we age, we tend to worry unnecessarily. Right now, my biggest concern is your health.”

“I’m really fine…”

With him speaking so insistently, I had nothing more to say.

Barhan, who seemed to be thinking deeply, put on a more wistful smile.

“Even if you consider it the worry of an old man, please let a doctor check your health. I beg you, Madam.”

Goodness, he might even cry.

“Alright. I’ll let them come. It’s fine to have them check…”

In the end, I nodded.

It seemed like an excessive concern about my health, but I wasn’t so heartless as to refuse an elderly man’s teary request.

Well, it seems I look like I’m about to collapse to the robust Northern folks.

Even though Barhan is much older than me, he looks healthier than I do.

…Tsk.

I was a bit hurt, but I decided to let it go since he was showing concern.

When I agreed to the examination, a smile finally appeared on Barhan’s face.

…He really thinks I’m on the brink of collapsing.

I had a mixed expression of betrayal, gratitude, and bitterness.

“Ahem. By the way, I would like to ask for more herbal seedlings. Is that okay?”

“More seedlings?”

“Yes. I’m studying herbs seriously these days, and there are many interesting things.”

I subtly pointed to the book I was reading.

‘Sick? Want to Get Better with Herbs?’

The title was quite bold.

“…Ah.”

For a moment, it seemed like a sigh escaped Barhan’s lips.

He probably found the book’s title quite bold as well.

I gave a sympathetic smile and shrugged.

“…You’re really studying seriously.”

“Yes, I want to do it properly. Since I’m living this life, I want to do my best.”

This time, Barhan didn’t reply.

Instead, he looked at me with a strange expression, then bowed his head and left the room.

“Please rest well, Madam.”

Somehow, his departing figure looked wistful too.

“What’s going on? Why is he acting like that?”

I thought that Barhan might be the one who needs a doctor, not me.

His melancholy seemed too intense.

Ah, maybe…

“Male menopause?”

Given Barhan’s age, it was quite possible.

He suddenly came in, worried about me, and looked wistful at every opportunity.

Severe mood swings were a representative feature of menopause.

I quickly grabbed the book and started looking for herbs that are effective for menopause.

I couldn’t just leave Barhan’s menopause untreated.

Wait, Barhan!

I’ll solve your menopause for you!

I began to search through the book with determination.

---

Meanwhile, Barhan couldn’t stop his heart from racing as he left the room.

“Haah…”

Only a sigh escaped from his dry lips.

The mistress had looked particularly pale today.

And Mary’s words about her vomiting blood seemed to be true.

The faint red stain on the end of his sleeve was evidence.

How did this happen…?

Barhan pondered for a moment.

The mistress must have known her condition was serious.

Someone who vomits blood would definitely know the severity.

But why?

Why was she trying so hard to pretend to be fine and avoid the examination?

And that statement.

“I want to do my best while I’m at it. Since I only live once, I want to live it to the fullest.”

It sounded familiar.

It reminded him of something the mistress had said when there were rumors about her being ill.

Perhaps, from then until now, the mistress had been hiding something.

The most decisive evidence was this.

‘Sick? Want to Get Better with Herbs?’

The title of the thick book made his heart sink.

Could it be that her obsession with growing herbs started because of this?

It seemed plausible.

People don’t suddenly become obsessed with growing herbs for no reason.

If her obsession with growing herbs began because she realized she was ill…

“It all makes sense.”

Ah, ah.

The complicated thoughts gave way to a weary smile.

But there was still one thing that worried him.

Previously, when a doctor was called, didn’t the doctor say that the mistress’s condition was just frail and not a big problem?

Was that a misdiagnosis?

Or, perhaps the illness was still in its early stages and not detectable at that time?

Or maybe…

“Did the mistress purposely hide her illness?”

Ah. His head was too complicated.

There were no clear answers or conclusions.

Only the assumptions in his mind were increasingly leaning toward the worst.

He clenched his fists with rising feelings of helplessness, bitterness, and frustration.

It would have been better if it was this old man who was sick.

He could only hope and pray that all of this was just a misunderstanding.

His wrinkled fingertips were trembling.