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I admit, I might have been complacent about my own death.
Considering the situation I was given, I believe this was a sufficiently paradoxical behavior. I knew that if I wanted to avoid the unstable future destined for us, the first thing I had to be careful about was my own safety.
At first, I tried to be exceptionally careful.
I avoided going outside the Imperial Palace as much as possible and strove to spend the longest portion of my day with Vasily. Under the ridiculous naming of a ‘secret mission,’ I tried everything to keep Vasily within my sight.
‘Volunteering at the orphanage, establishing a wildlife sanctuary, organizing rowing competitions, sponsoring blessing prayers at the holy hall...’
In my own way, it was a list intended to nurture Vasily's humanity from start to finish.
So that not even a trace of the word ‘tyrant’ would fall at his feet. My purpose was to show him the living vitality and the potential for development of the Ohala Empire that Vasily had to look after.
And so, one year passed, then three, then four.
Suddenly, a question occurred to me.
[Vasily.]
The question of what on earth I was doing.
[Doesn't it bother you, Vasily?]
[What does?]
[Me. I'm trying to control your world simply because we happen to be siblings.]
Was this truly the right path?
Of course, Vasily was not someone I could control.
He was the Crown Prince of the great Ohala Empire and the next head of the Novarov Imperial Family. He was also a figure of unrivaled power, second only to the Emperor and Empress, possessing the unconditional support of Tatyana, who could be considered the greatest threat to the succession of the throne.
The total amount of time Vasily could spare for me was barely twenty hours a week. And even then, wasn't half of that just leisure time spent with family?
[...I didn't know you were plagued by such worries, Lara. I swear by the heavens, your attention has never been a burden to me. I thought you already knew that.]
When I looked up, Vasily, who had been busy writing a letter, was observing me with a stiff expression. Tapping the desk with his fountain pen as if deep in thought, he spoke in a gentle voice.
[Since I have answered your question, will you answer mine?]
[That's not hard. Ask me anything.]
[Are you not afraid of me?]
[....]
[What a strange expression. Of course, I know what answer you will give. You'll say you aren't afraid.]
[If you already know, why ask? Don't ask such unpleasant questions ever again!]
[But Lara. There was a time when I had such doubts as well. Even though I knew it wasn't true... a heart that comes to believe it is so, even when unwanted, as if being manipulated by someone.]
The anger surging from deep within my chest began to subside slowly. It was because the confusion I was currently experiencing was exactly as he described.
[...Vasily experienced that too?]
[Yes. Having experienced it personally, I know as well as you do. And I know how to deal with it.]
[How should I do it?]
[Rest.]
Vasily gazed blankly at me as I struggled to answer, then rose from his chair.
He easily scooped me up—despite the fact that I was a head taller than most adult women—and paced slowly through the office. Then, he whispered in a tone that suggested he could see right through my thoughts.
[Don't worry about anything; just rest as you wish. Resting is not a sin. Therefore, I shall grant you a vacation. As for the duration... yes, from tomorrow until the end of next year's social season should be appropriate.]
[But if something goes wrong while I'm resting...]
[My siblings and I are not that fragile.]
After a moment of silence, he slowly leaned his face against my forehead. Vasily took a deep breath, but he did not exhale the breath he had swallowed.
[I know the reason why you feel you must be this way. However, just because you don't rest doesn't mean the anguish and anxiety tormenting you will disappear. In times like this, leave everything to fate. If even that makes you anxious, you may hand it over to me. Am I not your older brother? Do not try to shoulder it alone.]
After long deliberation, I decided to follow Vasily's advice. More than anything, I strongly agreed with his counsel that my worries would not vanish simply because I refused to stop.
Just then, news reached my ears: the Statue of Roo had arrived in Ohala. Since Shaharansk was not that far of a city, it was the perfect destination for a long trip to clear my head. I just didn't know that an assassination plot was waiting for me.
I thought Valentin could easily misunderstand, as he was unaware of those inner workings. Still, I had no intention of pouring my heart out in front of him. I didn't want to show a weak side. Only by not being weak would he continue to trust me.
Slowly pushing myself up, I brushed the dirt off my hands and leaned against the garden tree that Valentin was leaning on.
“Are you that worried about me?”
Valentin stared at me with somewhat surprised eyes.
“I became curious after hearing your story just now. Whether you are simply worried about my well-being as a person, or whether you are worried about the worst possible future that would result from my death.”
Valentin froze in a somewhat awkward manner. He looked as if he were contemplating something seriously, but conversely, he also looked as if he had hit an unexpected obstacle.
Unable to speak easily, he finally answered in a low voice after a long while.
“It seems that in Your Highness's eyes... I appear to be a man so heartless as to feel nothing for someone with whom I have exchanged greetings every single season for years.”
Hmm. Honestly, you do look that way.
“Coincidentally, I am also human, so I feel a sense of affection for those I have known for a long time. All the more so for Your Highness, who is practically like a younger sister to me.”
Younger sister. It felt quite strange to hear that Valentin, of all people, regarded me as family.
I see. He is no longer as indifferent to me as a stranger. As I thought of this, the inside of my chest grew warm, and the corners of my mouth curled up slightly.
‘Well, yeah. It's only natural. Looking back, Valentin was exceptionally meticulous about asking after me, wasn't he?’
And how much did he worry! On days when his nagging reached its peak, as many as five pages of letters would arrive; I could still vividly remember the resentment I felt back then from being scolded so harshly.
But all of that was evidence that he regarded me as a younger sister. I gave a short cough to hide my pleasure.
“Thank you for saying that. But I didn't go all the way there to see you, Valentin.”
Valentin's brow furrowed instantly.
“...Then why?”
“I went to see the Statue of Roo. I heard it arrived in Ohala after seventeen years of wandering across the Nost continent. I went down because Duke Illin was going to unveil it at a ball in exchange for covering all the security costs.”
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