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“Hmm.”
The fingertips that had been tracing the creases of my knuckles were now softly gliding over my nails.
I found it hard to judge whether this level of skinship was standard between people who were like family, or if I was simply overthinking it. In truth, I wondered if I was some kind of pervert... I felt a wave of self-loathing.
“Indeed, from my perspective, it seems Your Highness has been quite busy stirring up all sorts of things lately. Then, when will you have some time?”
I had time tomorrow, the day after, and the day after that. If the person was Valentin and no one else, I was more than willing to carve out time even if I didn't have any.
However, my willingness was only a sentiment. In a situation where just holding hands like this made my heart feel like it would burst in confusion, I didn't have the confidence to meet him again and hold a normal conversation.
‘No matter how I think about it, this is abnormal. I have to solve this somehow before I meet him...’
Yes, I'll figure it out on my own! I can't meet Valentin until I regain some semblance of stability. He's quick-witted; he'd notice my state at any moment.
“I don't know.”
Realizing my answer sounded far too cold, I hurriedly added more.
“I'm only busy until the coming-of-age ceremony, just until then!”
“You don't seem to realize. Considering Your Highness's position, you will surely be even busier after the ceremony...”
“No, for you, I can make time even if there is none! Just wait until I contact you. Of course, I'm not saying wait indefinitely! I'll finish up as quickly as possible and contact you as quickly as possible. So you must wait for me. Definitely! Absolutely!”
I fled without looking back. I ran away so frantically that I even left behind the potted plant he had given me.
I admit it. My behavior just now was truly childlike.
But it was unavoidable for me. This sensation—the feeling that the four years of my life, which had been peaceful without a shred of agitation, had been shattered once again by the wild card that was Valentin. Perhaps because it had been so long since I felt this way, my head was practically spinning.
Hiding inside the hall, I irritably brushed away a stray hair from my cheek—the very hair Valentin had surely intended to remove for me.
‘I have to find a way to calm down in front of Valentin.’
Ah, how convenient would it be if I could just rip out this crazy heart!
I almost started tearing at my hair before deciding to return to my room. The fact that my legs had almost shaken uncontrollably was a secret I would have to keep to myself for the rest of my life.
Three days later.
The day before the debutantes of the Ohala Empire's noble daughters.
A family gathering was convened for the first time in a while. Having gathered in one place for nearly a month, we finished a brief tea time and headed outdoors to enjoy some tennis.
A cool, gentle breeze, perfectly suited for the spring season, blew in from beyond the birch forest. Now that our stomachs were full, it was time to get down to real business.
The agenda for today's family gathering was...
“So, Tanya. You said the person you recommend is Sergei Ivanovich Nikitin of the Nikitin Duchy?”
Because it was about my engagement.
Tatyana, who had been busy warming up by swinging her tennis racket, looked back at me.
“I picked him out, but I get the feeling he doesn't quite meet Lara's standards.”
“Her standards are a bit too high, you know.”
Ivan glanced at me as if pointing out a grave flaw and walked past.
Unfortunately, I wasn't in the mood to kick Ivan in the back of the legs. For some reason, I'd felt a lingering slump in my mood for the past few days. Actually, I knew half the reason. I'd been in this state ever since I met Valentin. I just didn't know why this state persisted.
“Oh dear, Lara. What is it about Sir Sergei that you don't like? He should be the best groom candidate again this year, following last year.”
My mother, wearing black leather gloves that fit her hands perfectly, gently stroked my hair. Since I was now half a head taller than her, she had to tilt her chin up to meet my eyes.
Ivan gave a sneering laugh.
“Not the best, but perhaps among the best gentlemen, Mother. Hasn't Count Valentin returned? How fond of him must she be to exchange letters for over three years? Count Valentin suffered quite a bit because of it. He couldn't exactly ignore the whims of the reckless youngest princess...”
“Shut your mouth.”
Well done, Ivan. Thanks to you, I've found my energy. The edge of my racket, swung without mercy, narrowly missed Ivan's back. While he shrugged his shoulders provocatively, my father asked me.
“Do you wish to marry Count Valentin?”
I quickly turned my head to look at my father. He was staring at the slowly drifting white clouds with an expression that was just as unreadable as Valentin's.
I recalled the voice Valentin had used in Shaharansk, openly shuddering.
[Contrary to Your Highness's delusions, I have absolutely no intention of taking Princess Larisa as my wife, and I would rather die than become her paramour, so please do not waste your energy.]
Valentin had likely thought that Tanya had personally descended upon Shaharansk to keep him in check. Whatever the intention, the truth contained within was clear.
‘He'd rather die than marry me?’
Is such a stance even plausible against a princess of the Ohala Empire? Don't make me laugh! Whether he was a benefactor from my childhood or a connection of four years, I had absolutely no intention of being tied to such a man.
“No. I have no such thought.”
“Then, is there someone you do have thoughts for?”
“No.”
Father let out a small sigh.
“How is it that you lot refuse to perform even the most essential duty as members of the Imperial Family? Anyone would think the Imperial House is doomed!”
With those words, the gazes of those standing on the lush green grass court subtly drifted away.
My father's concern had a firm basis. Including me, who would become an adult this year, none of the four siblings had held a wedding.
This was unusual for the Imperial Family, the monarch class of the country. At the very least, Tatyana had held an engagement ceremony, but Vasily, who was turning twenty-one this year, and Ivan, who was turning twenty, had not even had engagements.
To be precise, Vasily had been involved in numerous scandals with various women since becoming an adult, but he never reached the point of engagement. This was because the women who had waited desperately for his proposal eventually chose other grooms and married.
‘Ivan doesn't face much pressure to marry thanks to Tatyana. But Vasily, who has such a great sense of responsibility, why doesn't he marry?’
There was one part about Vasily that had quite surprised me since he became an adult. The man I thought had zero interest in the opposite sex was pursuing "free love," not blocking any woman who came or went. It was a complete opposite of the diligent, wise, and responsible Vasily I knew.
Consequently, Vasily's reputation was quite poor, at least within the social circles. He was marked as the person the daughters of influential families, who had just had their debutantes, should be most cautious of. Even so, the scandals circulating every year showed no sign of fading.
‘Is meeting this woman and that woman Vasily's own way of finding the best marriage partner?’
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