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LOS 38
“I would be delighted if you could recover in time to attend.”
“I’ll try my best.”
“It was a pleasure meeting you again.”
He gave a slight nod, pressing his military cap against his chest. I watched silently as Harrington walked away. Soon, the door closed. Now that I was finally alone, I relaxed and let out a long breath.
Fortunately, he didn't seem to know anything about me. If someone as high-ranking as a general was unaware, I could assume that there was no longer a single person in all of Ipswin who knew my true identity.
Except, of course, for Giles. He was now the only person who knew about my lineage. In the past, that fact had felt like a noose tightening around my neck. However, Giles had absolutely no interest in my bloodline. The only thing he cared about was my safety.
What is he looking for in me?
‘Anna.’ His voice seemed to echo in my ears. The man who was once the source of my nightmares. Giles Hessen. My feelings toward him were still unclear. He kept unsettling my heart.
I have nothing to give you. I cannot return what you give to me in kind. Because I don't know how, and I don't even clearly understand my own feelings for you.
How should I redefine my relationship with him?
The grapes, which Giles must have bought, caught my eye. I reached out and pulled the plate toward me. After plucking a grape and staring at it for a moment, I popped it into my mouth.
The fruit Giles wanted me to have was sweet.
It was the sweetest thing I had ever tasted.
“Anna.”
I opened my eyes at the familiar voice. Giles was looking down at me from beside my bed. How many hours had passed while I was asleep? Seeing the brightness before my eyes, it seemed the sun had not yet set.
Rubbing my eyes, I asked, “What time is it?”
“Around four in the afternoon.”
“I slept that much?”
“Patients are supposed to get deep sleep.”
I pushed myself up to sit. Because I hadn't fully woken up, my mind was blank. My head naturally turned toward Giles. There was no particular reason. I simply looked because he was the closest person to me.
I hadn't met many people, but looking at him again now, Giles was certainly handsome.
He had a sharp yet firm impression. The reason I was thinking this was because I had overheard the nurses talking about him.
I had thought the nurses were delusional, but objectively, he deserved such praise. I'll admit that.
“Do you know the nurses working here well?”
“No.”
“They like you. Especially the one with the red hair.”
Giles furrowed his brow. He looked as if he didn't understand why I was saying this.
“Is that so?”
“She said she fell for you the moment she saw you. She said your charm lies in those deep eyes and your firmly closed lips. She might ask you about your evening plans soon.”
I giggled as I spoke. However, Giles didn't look noticeably flustered, nor did he blush. He acted as if he were very used to hearing such things. Losing interest, I wiped the smile from my face.
“So you do actually look in the mirror?”
“Why are you suddenly like this, Anna?”
“I don't know. I'm just not fully awake. Besides, when I'm in front of you, I feel like I have to say something. Forget about the nurse. I can tell you her name if you want.”
“I'm not interested.”
He drew a firm line. A brief silence fell between us.
Giles was the first to break the silence.
“Do you think so too?”
“Think what?”
“...Nothing, forget it.”
I had missed it because I was yawning into my hand, but Giles's complexion seemed slightly flushed. He picked up the invitation lying on the table.
“What's this?”
“Your superior left it. He told me to attend.”
“Did he say anything else?”
“He asked a few things... but not much. As you know, there's hardly anything I can say.”
Giles nodded. He seemed to understand what I meant.
“Do you intend to attend?”
“Do I even have a say in the matter?”
“If you're reluctant, I can convey that for you. They won't force you.”
“Forget it. Is it really necessary to go that far? It's just a party. I'll just show my face for a bit.”
I suddenly lowered my voice and whispered, “No one knows my real name, right?”
“It has been a long time since you were officially declared dead. Don't worry.”
“Come to think of it, I had a dream...”
Perhaps it wasn't a dream, but something that actually happened. It definitely took place inside the train.
“...Albert was trying to talk about me.”
“I've silenced him forever. It's fine.”
“Is it fine? That man... it felt like he wasn't someone who should have been killed.”
“I can take responsibility for it.”
I didn't dwell on the worry that had briefly surfaced. It was likely something that had nothing to do with me anyway. Staring blankly at the opposite wall, words escaped my lips without thought.
“I can't believe I'm having this kind of conversation with you.”
The fact that I could now look directly into his eyes was also strange. The nightmare, which had grown in size fueled by all sorts of fear and delusions, had completely shriveled away.
I continued, as if making an excuse.
“I had no choice back then. I was cornered. It was a time when I had to live always thinking of the worst-case scenario in any situation. Especially since you were with the Revolutionary Army, and I...”
Because I was a noble. Just as I was about to say that, Giles placed his hand over my right hand.
“It's alright. It's all in the past.”
“I had no choice but to fear you. You must understand that.”
“Anna, it's okay.”
I fell silent. Then, I managed a nod. I wasn't wrong. I had certainly misunderstood him, but it wasn't by my own will. The life I had lived had made me that way.
Love and warmth... there was a time when I chased those things. But in the end, everything surrounding me demanded that I be shrewd and cunning. The most important skill for me was always remembering that the other person might potentially harm me.
Sometimes, that habit made me miserable. Even now. Despite the kindness and sincerity Giles showed me, I couldn't fully open the door to my heart. I always remained tense in front of anyone, and that habit exhausted me.
“Still, thank you for saving my life.”
This was the best expression of gratitude I could manage. He had saved me, and I was grateful for that. Therefore, I could say these words with confidence.
Giles responded with a faint smile. He asked me, “Anna, shall we go outside for a bit?”
“Why? For a walk?”
“A walk, yes... but also because we need to prepare for the banquet.”
“What kind of preparation?”
Even as I asked, I immediately realized what Giles meant. Ah, right. It was a banquet attended by high-ranking officials. One couldn't possibly enter such a place in ordinary clothes.
He stood up and held out his hand to me.
“Let's go pick out a dress.”
Before going out, the doctor came to examine me. It was to confirm if I had recovered enough to leave the hospital. After reviewing the chart and completing a few tests, he gave his permission.
“You must return before sunset. It is springtime, but the evening air is still chilly. It could have a negative effect on the patient.”
Giles nodded to the doctor. My clothes were neatly kept in the wardrobe. Blouses, skirts, and even a thin coat... as I fiddled with the clothes, I soon realized one thing was missing.
As if reading my mind, Giles beat me to the question.
“Do you want it back?”
I shook my head.
“I don't need it for the time being.”
Such an object was useless now. In truth, I didn't even know how to handle a gun properly. I knew I had to pull the trigger, but that was the extent of it. And above all, there was no longer anyone I wanted to kill.
I changed my clothes inside the partition and stepped out. Giles was waiting for me from a distance. He was wearing the same dark military uniform as when we first met, looking impeccable. There wasn't a single wrinkle in his attire, and his jet-black hair was neatly groomed, exposing his forehead.
The only thing that had changed since then was the look in his eyes when he gazed at me. His eyes, which once felt as chilling as staring into an abyss because they were so empty and void, now held a quite different hue.
At the very least, I could look into his eyes and read the emotions he held. That was why I could hold his hand like this. Giles was now a book that I could open and read whenever I wished.
Together, we stepped out of the hospital. We walked through the streets of Ipswin. He took me to the most bustling district.
To be honest, this was the first time I had walked in such a place with a light heart. Until I boarded the train, the most I had done was barely visit the market, anxious and terrified that I might catch his eye.
Everything looked wondrous to me. The glamorous shop windows displaying high-quality goods, the pavement constructed with neatly arranged, smooth stones, and the people passing naturally before my eyes, as if they had been part of this scenery from the beginning—all of it.
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