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LOS 9
There was a reason why the subordinates following Giles were not his own. The leadership intended to leave no room for personal feelings to interfere. They wanted reports on Giles from a strictly third-party perspective.
In essence, the operation was not for the fugitives, but for Giles. It was a simulation to determine whether he was a talent worth keeping alive.
“It seems all the reports have been submitted. I know this because news has reached me as well. The problem is the agents who went to observe you...”
Harrington emphasized his voice to avoid using the word ‘surveillance.’
“...They perceived you as a person of Beldam with landowner blood first, rather than as a loyal officer of the Revolutionary Army. While the contents of the reports were objective, they weren't written in a very favorable tone toward you. Moreover, a minor detail—the fact that you didn't use your gun—became a very convenient pretext.”
In short, Giles was under suspicion. Their doubt was understandable. In reality, Giles had not killed Celeste himself. It had been a suicide. Beyond being reasonable, the suspicion was the truth.
There were many within the Revolutionary Army who looked upon Giles with distaste. Giles was a Beldamite whom they had failed to kill. That fact made the Revolutionary Army uncomfortable. That was why such a cruel operation had been devised. It was a re-examination to see if the source of that discomfort could be eliminated...
...And the result depended entirely on Giles.
“A hearing will be held soon, Giles.”
Harrington had arranged this meeting to warn him. The revolution was drawing to a close, and the struggle in Ipswin was nearing its end, but for Giles, there was still a long way to go.
His lineage would follow him like a label until the day he died. He might spend his entire life being suspected, plagued by questions, and forced to prove his own innocence.
“They will ask you various questions based on the contents of the reports. You must answer carefully. You have to make them accept the facts as they are, Giles. I believe you possess enough ability to earn their trust. I repeat, I do not want to lose you.”
“I will do my best.”
“Giles. The revolution is winding down. That means you can no longer prove your loyalty simply by throwing nobles into prison. You must show more than that to survive. No matter how loyal a hound is, if the master stops hunting, the hound has nowhere to go.”
“Do you believe they will give me a chance?”
“As long as you prove your value.”
Would they? Either way, Giles was destined to have his name on the list of prisoners headed for the guillotine. Could he survive in a place swarming with people who would seize upon the slightest mistake to eliminate him?
Fatigue washed over him. Of course, Giles wanted to survive. But... after Celeste's death, some of the things that had built him up had crumbled. Even his obsession with survival was affected.
How long would the life of a single tomorrow, gained this way, actually last?
As if reading his mind, Harrington spoke.
“You must have a reason to live, just as everyone else does. Then, focus on that one thing. Don't think of anything else.”
The meal arrived. A dining hall employee appeared with a tray and set a plate in front of Giles. Without a word, Giles picked up the knife and sliced the meat. Red blood seeped onto the white plate.
He couldn't help but close his eyes.
-
Harrington had not lied. Giles could immediately tell that the revolutionary leadership was preparing a hearing for him.
Pairs of eyes watched him from every direction. This was a fact his keen soldier's instincts told him, even without making eye contact. Surely, they were considering the possibility of him disappearing before the hearing.
In such a time, it was not wise to frequent the abandoned mansion where Lily was staying. He was frequently tailed. One slip-up could put Lily in danger.
Therefore, Giles temporarily stopped visiting the mansion in Salzburg. Though he was anxious, Lily was someone who had survived tenaciously even before receiving his help. Giles decided to trust her.
Contrary to his expectation that the hearing would be held within a few days at most, the leadership hesitated for a long time. Days turned into weeks.
Every night, Giles thought of Lily. When sleep wouldn't come, he placed a record on the gramophone and listened to a recorded piano performance. Then he wondered: How did I come to love Lily Belmore?
At first, he simply liked her music. He liked the fact that he had rescued that beautiful music, and further, the very choice of not killing Lily somehow made him happy.
However, the axis of his emotions gradually shifted from the music to Lily herself. He felt relieved seeing Lily put on weight and her complexion regain color. When she smiled, he naturally smiled along. Giles hoped Lily would become healthy, and thereby, continue to survive.
He began to desire more than that only after nothing remained in his world. The values he believed in. The things he thought he could naturally protect. The belief that he had made the right decisions. Hope for the future. Giles lost all of it in an instant.
And... the only person left in his world, which had been plundered and left empty like the mansion in Salzburg, was Lily. Lily, who had once occupied only a corner of his heart, began to grow. Soon, he could think of nothing but her.
Giles was essentially a murderer. A murderer who had shot and killed countless people under the pretext of orders from the revolutionary leadership...
Because he had lived that way for so long, his mind had become riddled with blood and screams. Even if he survived, he might spend the rest of his life plagued by the voices of ghosts and falling into nightmares.
Lily was the one who allowed him to forget all of that.
It was impossible not to love Lily.
Because she was everything he had.
If so... what decision must I make?
‘You must answer carefully.’
At the upcoming hearing, he would have to look the observers straight in the eye and tell the ‘truth.’
The truth was that he had not killed his sister, Celeste Hessen. Celeste had committed suicide, and Giles had failed his mission. He could not make the decision for the sake of the revolution. He was a man who prioritized himself and the things he cherished over the revolution. That was the truth.
Giles had to tell the truth. That was the path that avoided committing further sin. He had already failed to prevent his sister's death. He had left her with words of protection but failed to properly look after how she was actually doing. Moreover, the desire for survival that had driven him until now was no longer the same.
...Was it no longer the same?
On the day of the hearing, he stood before the officials of the revolutionary leadership to tell the truth. Many people were watching him. Although he wore the same military uniform as them, Giles still looked detached, like an outsider.
Countless eyes were urging him to tell the truth.
Giles intended to do so.
I can't commit any more wrongs. I must end everything here. I should have done this from the start...
The voice of the man acting as the chairman rang loudly through the meeting room.
“Captain Giles Hessen, are you aware that opinions are divided regarding the success or failure of Operation Mainhebach, which you led?”
“I am aware.”
“Give your statement.”
General Harrington, sitting to the right, was watching him.
‘You must have a reason to live.’
Tell the truth.
Whether you meet a peaceful death or live and die in prolonged agony... choose for yourself.
Giles squared his shoulders and looked directly at the chairman.
And he told the ‘truth.’
“I killed Celeste Hessen myself.”
The low murmur of the crowd ceased.
“That is the truth.”
-
Before long, fallen leaves covered the entire private estate of Salzburg. The trees had all fallen asleep, promising to return next year. A lonely season was approaching. The wind gradually swept the fallen leaves toward some unknown place. Soon, even they would vanish.
He didn't think Lily could endure long in the mansion. With broken windows letting in drafts and a fierce chill seizing the house, there was a limit to how long she could sleep curled up inside an instrument case.
He had to take her to the city. It would be better for Lily as well. He could resolve the issue of her status. There were already people throughout Ipswin who had not been properly registered at birth. To an outsider, Lily looked like one of them.
If Giles just pulled a few strings, she could easily cast off the subversive status she once held.
Giles stepped out of the car and looked up at the mansion. It was a large building, but there was only one place where Lily would be. She always insisted on the instrument storage room.
Giles climbed the stairs he always took, turned the same corner, and crossed the mansion. Through the gap in the door, the abandoned piano was visible.
“Lily?”
There was no answer. Is she sleeping? Giles slowly opened the firmly closed door of the storage room.
But there was no one there.
Nothing remained. Only dry dust filled the empty space, as if no one had ever stayed there.
Giles, his mind turning stark white, shouted.
“Lily!”
But there was no voice to answer.
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