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LOS 92
Epilogue
The people who took me in were neither from Ipswin nor from Beldam. I have now arrived in another foreign land, one I had never set foot in before.
I couldn't even remember how they introduced their own country. There was a fact far more important to me than that.
They laid me in a comfortable hospital room, but I couldn't sleep a wink. The fact that I was lying on a plush bed after escaping a sinking ship felt like a dream.
Despite that, my mind was elsewhere entirely.
Had Giles been rescued by now?
What happened to him?
But no one came to tell me of Giles's whereabouts.
The strangers hoped that I would get enough sleep.
After tossing and turning alone for hours, I fell into a light slumber and dreamed of Giles opening the hospital door and welcoming me. However, the moment I woke up, I realized it was nothing more than a dream.
Giles was nowhere to be found. Instead, strangers were waiting for me to wake up.
I blinked and asked,
“Who are you?”
“Nice to meet you. I am Agent Karel Gioda. We will be responsible for Miss Keating's well-being for the time being. You can rest easy now.”
Ah, those intelligence agency people. I felt sorry for them, but I was now someone who felt sick at the mere mention of the word 'agent.' Thus, I couldn't bring myself to smile.
“I see.”
“Have you had a peaceful night?”
“More or less.”
“It would be best for you to stay here for a while until you make a full recovery. According to our medical staff's opinion, your physical condition has weakened significantly. I presume Beldam made you this way, Miss Keating?”
I simply nodded. While it was true that these people had saved me, I did not let down my guard. Even when Beldam took me in, I thought I had become safe. But in reality, it was the opposite, wasn't it?
Perhaps the same thing would happen here.
“I will have to hear the details of what happened later, but I think I have the general outline. Since you must be disoriented right now, I won't bother you too much. For now, focus on your recovery. We will do our best to ensure you get well.”
“Why are you helping me?”
In the end, harsh words spilled from my lips. But it wasn't my fault that my distrust of people had reached its peak.
Agent Gioda smiled brightly, as if completely unaffected by my tone.
“Well, it is because you were rescued within our territorial waters.”
“Even so, I'm someone who has nothing to do with you. Whether I recover or not, what does that matter to you?”
“I'm sorry, but what did you say your name was?”
“Anna Keating.”
“Exactly! That's it. You are Miss Anna Keating. You would be surprised to know how famous you've become here.”
It seemed that spreading my story abroad hadn't been in vain. The fact that I had become famous among people was no longer something I found welcome, but...
“Everyone is moved by your story and shudders at the cruelty of Beldam. They say it's shocking that this was actually real and not a fabricated tale. People call you a hero just for surviving a life that felt like a war. We can't exactly expel someone called such a thing empty-handed, can we?”
“What, are they going to nominate me for president or something?”
At that, Agent Gioda burst into laughter. I hadn't said it to be funny, but my sarcasm seemed to have come across as a joke to him.
“That's not the only reason. Miss Keating, you are eligible to apply for asylum as a refugee. You have been so from the moment you were rescued by our soldiers. If you decide to go through with the process, please let me know through my associates at any time.”
“What happened to Giles?”
This time, no one laughed. Some people's faces stiffened as if they were in an awkward position. When the answer was delayed, I pressed them once more.
“I asked what happened to Giles.”
“You mean Mr. Hessen.”
After a moment of hesitation, Agent Gioda gestured with his head to the people standing behind him. Then, everyone except for him and a few nurses hurried out of the room.
They are about to deliver bad news.
I knew immediately. Anyone with a bit of intuition would have known.
Eventually, Agent Gioda spoke cautiously.
“Miss Keating...”
“Why are you hesitating? Giles must be somewhere around here. If he's badly hurt, I'll go—”
“I am only sorry to have to deliver unfortunate news.”
For a moment, my mind went blank, and no thoughts came to me.
For several seconds, I just stared at him like someone who couldn't comprehend his words.
But I was soon cast back into the cold reality.
“You're saying you couldn't save him?”
“We sent a rescue ship as soon as we heard the news, but it seems it was too late to save Mr. Hessen.”
I'm sorry, he added.
My heart raced and my whole body trembled. I didn't want to believe it, so I waited for him to say something else, but no one spoke further.
They couldn't save Giles.
It seemed I had to accept that fact.
I bolted upright and screamed in rage.
“You said you would save him! I only got on the helicopter alone, leaving Giles behind, because you said you would definitely save him! I'm the only one who was rescued, leaving that man in the cold ocean! And now you're telling me you just let Giles die? What am I supposed to do!”
Giles is dead? Such a thing couldn't happen. I absolutely refused to accept it. Giles is dead. It was nonsense.
I completely lost my reason. As I threw and broke whatever objects I could reach, the nurses rushed over to restrain me. My face was soon a mess of tears.
I soon stopped trying to push the nurses away. At the very least, I didn't want to vent my anger on people who had done nothing wrong.
“If I had known... I wouldn't have been rescued. I would have stayed by his side until the end.”
I collapsed back onto the bed and sobbed aloud. The fact that I was the only survivor felt utterly despairing. I had left Giles alone in the black sea. But that... that wasn't because I was desperate to save my own life.
I thought Giles would come back alive.
Because he always had. No matter what danger struck, Giles always ended up returning to my side. Perhaps it was because I had naturally assumed the same thing would happen this time?
The image of Giles waving to me at the end came to mind. Thinking that was the final moment between me and Giles, I couldn't stop crying.
He saved my life so many times...
In the end, I had made a selfish choice. This time, I was not proud of that fact at all. There was no longer anywhere for me to lean. I felt as if the entire world I lived in had vanished.
I didn't want to hear anything more.
Even consolation was a luxury to me.
“I want to be alone,” I requested in a thick, choked voice. They granted my request without a word. Before long, everyone left the room, and I was left alone.
I curled up and pulled the blanket over my head. Surviving itself felt like a sin. I felt as if I wanted to disappear from the world just as I was.
But... I know I mustn't. I cannot waste a life that Giles saved, even at the cost of sacrificing himself.
Surviving until the end was the last repayment I could make for him.
I whispered Giles's name over and over again. Giles. Giles Hessen... I'm sorry for doubting you at first. I'm sorry for saying harsh things to you and treating you like my father. I regret that I didn't tell you I loved you more.
I regret hating you.
The soldier who used to bring me large pieces of bread is no longer in this world. After giving me the final gift of survival, he left my side completely.
Thinking back, Giles never took care of himself.
He was only focused on giving something to me.
Until the end, his own life wasn't even a consideration...
Knowing he would die, he looked up at me and gave a bright smile. He was truly at peace. Regardless of what happened to him, he was satisfied with the mere fact that he could send me away alive.
In the darkness, I conjured his face.
And I whispered words in my heart that he would never hear.
Giles Hessen.
I love you so much.
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