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Dozens of sentences flashed through my mind and vanished, but only one answer remained as the most rational.
“Liar.”
As if he had expected my reaction, he replied with a flexible demeanor.
“Which part felt like a lie to you?”
“All of it.”
“Coincidentally, there are no false parts.”
“……Right, of course. It probably isn't a lie.”
It couldn't be a lie. Valentin had no reason to lie to me.
Or perhaps, was Valentin suffering from some profound mental illness I was unaware of? Or maybe, just maybe, everything from the rebels and such was just a grand-scale joke for my coming-of-age ceremony…… I asked back foolishly, offering such hypotheses.
“Then how?”
“Are you asking how such a thing is possible?”
“Yes.”
The repetition of life.
Every part of it sounded like a novel, but no part was as unrealistic—no, as close to a fantasy—no, as much a fantasy itself as this.
Valentin's time is repeating.
No. Should I say the time of this world is repeating?
“I have formulated a few hypotheses, but I need a bit more time to be certain.”
At his utterly calm answer, I harbored doubt once more.
‘It must be a lie after all, right?’
And then I repeated the denial. Valentin has no reason to lie. Right, that's more rational.
‘Valentin is a Prophet, isn't he? It's more realistic for him to prophesy a future he has personally experienced than to receive revelations from an unknown god.’
But was that actually more realistic?
I looked into Valentin's eyes. For a moment, I felt as though I had found the source of the endless boredom and exhaustion I had sensed in him until now.
And the meaning behind the first sentence of the story he told me.
“Valentin, do you think it's all a curse?”
At my cautious question, Valentin's eyes, which had been quietly sunken, widened. After a long silence with a vacant gaze, he swallowed hard.
“That is…… an unexpected question.”
“I understand. You're surprised because instead of fainting in shock, I'm too calm, right?”
“No, that is not it. ……Then again, from the perspective of someone hearing this for the first time, that might be more interesting than one's own fate or the movements of Prince Ivan and Duke Libertan.”
I'm sorry, but Valentin's judgment was wrong.
‘I'm already crazily curious about those things too.’
However, it wasn't that I had been listening without any reason. After feeling the worlds Valentin had passed through and reaching my own concise conclusion, I realized.
What I needed to understand right now wasn't Valentin's past. It was Valentin himself.
His hand covered the back of my hand. The warmth, chilled by the wind and rain, felt intensely hot.
“I consider it a curse.”
“…….”
“Yes, a curse……. Until I met you.”
This time, the lightning struck my heart instead of my brain.
‘It's a lie. It's all a lie.’
If it weren't, Valentin couldn't possibly smile so shyly…….
Even as I denied the reality before my eyes, an irresistible sense of superiority welled up. The superiority of knowing that I was the being who brought out that smile.
The trembling coming from that gap was so overwhelming that I quickly pulled my hand away from Valentin.
“I appreciate the sentiment…… but don't make that face or say things like that in front of me from now on.”
Valentin looked down at my hand resting on my lap with a look of incomprehension.
“Is there a problem?”
Thinking that being honest might make it easier to deal with him, I summoned the courage to speak.
“……Um. The problem is that my heart is beating too loudly. It keeps thumping, so it's hard to look into your eyes.”
At that, his eyelids, which had been cast down, slowly lifted to gaze at me. For a while, no words passed between us. The only thing diligently making a presence in the silence was the soundless rubbing of Valentin's thumb and index finger.
Say something, anything……. Just as I was about to take my words back, fearing I had opened my mouth at the wrong time, Valentin stood up.
“Let us return. I don't think there is any need to linger here any longer.”
I let out a sigh of relief inwardly and stood up to follow him.
“Already? I have a mountain of things I want to ask you right now…….”
“Do not rush. I am not going anywhere.”
Really?
Valentin's back, as he spoke with such certainty, seemed to hint at a will that said, ‘Since I have repeated this so tediously, I will definitely bring it to a close.’
As we walked toward the corridor under the same umbrella, I chewed over his story.
‘How much must it have hurt?’
Goodness, the experience of death. I couldn't bring myself to speak, fearing that even mentioning it would force him to relive those terrible memories.
“Um, Valentin. Then how many times—no, how many times has time been turned back? Is this the third time?”
“No, it is the fourth.”
“If it's the fourth…… the stories you told me only went up to the second. What was the third life like?”
Valentin swallowed a bitter smile.
“The time may come when I tell you…… but I hope that day never comes if possible.”
“Why?”
“Because it is shameful.”
It was such an unexpected reason that I instinctively fell silent. Valentin's shame. I couldn't imagine it, nor did I want to, so I simply nodded.
Then, Valentin asked me with a face that found it utterly difficult to comprehend.
“No matter how I think about it, it's strange. Even after hearing my story, are you not curious about anything regarding yourself or Prince Ivan? Why do you not ask?”
Valentin is occasionally like a fool. That's exactly why I just asked about the third life.
“You said it yourself, Valentin. That Ivan was being used by Duke Libertan.”
At my whisper, Valentin, who was handing the umbrella to a servant, turned back with a deep frown.
“Are you worried that I'll think of Ivan as a piece of trash who can never be reformed? It's not to that extent. Rather, my resolve to keep a close eye on him so he doesn't do anything foolish this time is overflowing.”
For once, Valentin wore a completely blank, stunned expression.
“……I wondered why it was so quiet; were you actually dozing off with my story as a lullaby?”
“I wasn't dozing!”
“If you weren't dozing, how could you mention words that I never uttered?”
“Because I have a sense of intuition too.”
This time, I walked ahead into the corridor. The lanterns flickering in the gaps of darkness rose like a tidal wave, but I was no longer afraid.
“……Unlike the way you explained Duke Libertan's cruel and ruthless side, the Ivan you described was blurry and lacked presence, like a passing background. Moreover, your expression and voice when mentioning Ivan were the same. I didn't feel any hostility or discomfort.”
“…….”
“Your attitude toward the current Ivan is the same. Do you remember the prophecy you left for my sibling and me at the banquet four years ago? You told Vasily he would become the conqueror of an era, and you told Tanya she would become Vasily's wonderful right hand. But it was a bit different for Ivan.”
[Prince Ivan, you must look around you. If you do not, you will lose precious things and regret it deeply.]
“No matter how I think about it, that was closer to advice than a prophecy. That's why I vaguely guessed. That you gave Ivan a chance.”
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