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I lifted my eyelids at the voice that softly called my name. A blurry, smudged world was the first thing that came into view.
It was a familiar place. My bedroom in the Crown Princess's palace. I blinked slowly and turned my head.
And then, what came into my view.
It was Cerden.
A sleek face smiling at me. Deep blue eyes holding a heavy warmth. A subtly stiff expression and tense cheeks. Eyes with deep fatigue and disheveled hair. All of that made up Cerden.
That was also familiar.
"......"
I didn't know how to react. The Duke Spelman I last saw and the Spelman now were too far apart.
My breath quickened.
"......Evelyn."
As if knowing that, Cerden called my name once more. His sigh scattered with it.
Cerden put his hand on my forehead. A hot temperature slowly transmitted through his palm.
"Your fever has gone down."
I had a fever?
"Get some more sleep."
Cerden didn't seem to want any answer from me. He already had an expression as if he had found all the answers.
What happened?
Did I sleep for a long time?
What kind of story did Duke Spelman and Cerden have? It was confusing. I needed some time to figure out the situation.
In this imperial palace where no one was on my side.
What to say to Cerden, what kind of reaction to show...
Ah, I'm tired.
So this is what it's like to have no one to confide in. It's frustrating.
I wanted to rest. I wanted to fall asleep like this, as Cerden said. No, if I could, I wanted to sleep forever.
I bit my lip tightly.
At that moment, Cerden spoke as if he knew all my feelings.
"It's okay."
It was a low voice. Full of warmth. It had the power to make me unable to think.
I met Cerden's eyes.
"It's all right, Evelyn. Nothing will happen."
I don't know why that made me feel so relieved. I ended up pathetically shedding tears. I covered my eyes with my hands to hide the unsightly tears.
"Heu-eung."
An unsightly sob burst out of my mouth. It wasn't acting. It wasn't a forced sob.
It was a real cry from the heart. The fear of being kidnapped in place of Veronica. Duke Spelman, who looked down at me like a god in the dark.
That hellish time when I had to make so many decisions in a short time.
All of that seemed to shake me. The memories remained vivid and mixed with past memories.
Evelyn, it was so clear as if that child was me. All the emotions that child felt became mine.
"It's okay."
Cerden soothed me and stroked my hair. It was as if he knew everything, as if he was whispering that there would be no problem.
I curled up and sobbed. It's safe. Duke Spelman can no longer harm me.
At this moment, no one can harm me. I had such a strange conviction.
The hot tears wetting my fingers and Cerden patting me were the only reality. That soon became a sense of relief.
Before I knew it, I was leaning on Cerden, relying on him at the same time.
Hoping he would save me.
Hoping he would protect me.
Hoping your warmth is true.
Please, don't turn away from me.
* * *
It was a long night. Evelyn, who opened her eyes at dawn, cried for a long time and fell asleep again. The image of her eyes, like a young deer looking at him when she woke up, remained vivid.
As if those eyes were asking Cerden.
'Are you going to hurt me too?'
At that moment, I thought Evelyn should put everything down and rest.
Cerden and Evelyn were both constantly running. The difference was that Cerden had his people. He had Roger, whom he could trust and confide in, and even Mortega, though he was unreliable.
Besides, there were many people following him.
But Evelyn had no one.
"Haha."
Cerden let out a meaningless laugh.
He often thought that. That God was turning away from the Empire and Cerden. Even though he didn't believe in God.
But there was someone even worse than that. Evelyn, who stood out alone like black ink dropped in a white world.
That woman was really unhappy, had nothing, and was pitiful enough to bother him.
Cerden ran his hand over his face.
The face that was revealed again was as cold as if it were submerged in darkness. It was an expression that gnawed at the sunlight shining on his face.
A long night passes and morning comes again. Julia, who was blankly standing and looking at Cerden, spoke to him.
"......Are you all right?"
"Evelyn is fine. She briefly regained consciousness at dawn."
Cerden replied in a cracked voice.
"She must be very weak. Feed her nourishing food and call a reliable doctor to give her medicine. I'll leave her in your care for a while."
"......You're too kind. Rather, I was asking if Your Highness is all right."
Julia said in a sighing voice. Julia hadn't slept well either.
She couldn't attend the banquet because of the whining Ria. Dimiter didn't return until late at night to tell her what happened there, and she had to come here before she could hear the story in detail.
She was speechless at the story she heard from Cerden's aides.
She stayed up all night worrying about the two of them. The changed sleeping arrangements must have played a part.
But Cerden had a more desolate face than Julia. It was as if he had been kidnapped.
Cerden gave a cold laugh.
"Don't worry. I don't think I'm going to die yet."
"Your Highness."
"I think there's someone else who looks like they're going to die."
Cerden's voice lost strength for a moment.
"People who are cornered often do things they shouldn't do. They let go of themselves. Keep a close eye on Evelyn."
"......Are you saying that Your Highness is in that state now?"
"Who knows."
Julia's eyes widened. She didn't understand. Was Cerden looking at Evelyn with a different perspective than others?
Evelyn was a purer and clearer being than anyone else. As if she had run away from the darkness of this world into the depths of her unconsciousness, she left only a part that was spotless in this world. That Evelyn, why?
Cerden tapped Julia's shoulder, who was confused.
"It's a shame, I think. Sometimes I miss the days when barbarism was romantic."
It was a roundabout way of saying that he wanted to kill Duke Spelman, or someone.
Cerden passed by her as she was. Julia followed him with a worried look.
Tonight will be long for Cerden too.
I hoped that peace would settle in that long time, even for a moment.
* * *
Duke Spelman fiddled with his glass. He spent the night pondering what he had seen last night and what he had realized.
Cerden's back as he disappeared, holding the most precious thing.
That kept lingering in his mind.
"......A fool is doing something difficult."
Duke Spelman coldly raised his lips. He didn't know what that man was thinking, but it was clear that Evelyn occupied a corner of his heart.
"She properly paid for being kept alive."
It wasn't the first or second time he had attached a woman to Cerden. He had sent women to the battlefield barracks several times, and he had stripped noble young ladies and pushed them into his bedroom.
With the hope that he would fall into the seduction of women and ruin everything, just like his father.
But Cerden had never fallen for it.
But Evelyn did it.
Without even taking off a layer of clothes.
"She's my daughter after all."
It was easier than anything to put poison in her hand. And it would be just as easy to put a knife in her hand.
'Ah, Daddy... Evelyn was wrong.'
Those clear eyes that looked at him like a god, the outstretched hand.
Clear and transparent crimson hair that he had acquired a long time ago as proof that the imperial family's blood was mixed.
Evelyn had what Cerden didn't have.
Satisfying.
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