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Alan liquidated everything—his stocks, insurance, and even his pension. By scraping together every cent, he barely met the minimum down payment requirement and took out a 40-year jumbo mortgage for the rest.
In many ways, it was an overextension. However, Ae-jeong pushed hard, insisting that if they didn't take this chance, they would never be able to own a home on Fifth Avenue in their entire lives.
The apartment, which had its last renovation in the early 80s, was in a state where moving in was impossible without repairs. Consequently, they took out additional loans to begin extensive renovations.
However, the construction, which was scheduled to end in late August, showed no signs of finishing even by early September, when Jiyu started her first semester of 10th grade. Of course, they had to pour in far more money than originally planned.
“This would never happen in Korea! In this damn country, they take their sweet time; everyone is so eager to go home the moment the clock hits five, so how could the construction ever finish on time? We're just bleeding money. Ugh, it's so frustrating!”
Anxious and impatient, Ae-jeong grumbled as she went to the construction site every day to harass the workers.
And every morning, she insisted that Alan drive Jiyu to school. Her reasoning was that the temporary apartment they were staying in was too close to Harlem and therefore dangerous, and that the caliber of the residents was far inferior compared to Fifth Avenue.
It was a typical prejudice and unnecessary worry of Ae-jeong's. Still, Alan willingly took on the role, saying it reminded him of when Jiyu was little.
Because of these circumstances, Jiyu didn't even have to go out of her way to avoid Hunter; there were simply no opportunities to run into him. It felt somewhat empty that their relationship had been so easily severed once the common ground of living in the same apartment vanished.
Occasionally, she would absentmindedly touch her lips, wondering if the kiss at the Spring Fling had actually happened. It would have been better if it were just a dream.
But because of the evidence Chloe had provided, she couldn't pretend it never happened. She had shoved the photo—which she had intended to throw away upon returning home—deep into her desk drawer for fear her mother might find it.
The black-and-white photo with its classic backdrop showed a series of shots of the two of them kissing.
Her eyes tightly shut, and Hunter, gripping her chin and tilting her head.
'It was my first kiss.'
Whenever she remembered the small gasp, the lips that were softer than expected, or the deeply shimmering blue eyes, her body would shiver for no reason.
[Who else would I do it with if not you.]
Those words had shaken her. It felt as if he was saying that among the countless girls at the party, he only wanted to kiss her, and she admitted she had felt a bit smug. That was why she had impulsively allowed the kiss.
Yet, as soon as the kiss was over, Hunter had grown angry with her. He poured out absurd accusations, claiming she had kissed Rex. He effectively trampled the trembling moment of her first kiss by saying that kissing her was nothing more than a prank of curiosity and hormones.
'What on earth do you take me for, Hunter Hamilton?'
Whenever she thought of that, her chest stung, and a quiet anger welled up. She had almost fallen for him again just because he had been a little kind.
'It's actually for the best.'
It was an opportunity to remind herself once more how Hunter viewed her before she committed such a foolish act. From now on, she would never like him again just because he treated her with a bit of kindness.
Jiyu vowed it, over and over.
After his promotion, Alan's overtime became frequent. Sometimes he even had to work on weekends.
Early in the morning, as she stepped out of the temporary apartment's front door with Alan, Jiyu looked at him worriedly.
[Dad, you look tired.]
At that, he tapped her cheek and gave a kind smile.
[Do I? I'm fine. I'll be refreshed after catching up on sleep over the weekend.]
“There’s no such thing as a job where you make a lot of money and work very little. You have to work hard to pay off the mortgage quickly,” Ae-jeong snapped, cutting into the conversation between father and daughter.
Every morning on the way to school, Jiyu walked with Alan from 96th Street to the subway station at 84th Street. Since he was always busy, time spent alone with him was rare.
They say many daughters, who adore their fathers without a care in the world when they are young, grow distant as they hit puberty, but Jiyu still loved her father. The morning time spent walking and chatting with him was the most peaceful part of her day.
Alan, who had married Ae-jeong when he was forty-two and she was thirty, was now well into his mid-fifties. With his thinning grey hair, modest height, and a face that wrinkled deeply when he smiled, he was a quiet and gentle man. He never asserted his authority as the head of the household in front of his wife or daughter.
[My daughter, you're suffering so much in this cramped house without even a room of your own.]
Jiyu was using the living room of the one-bedroom apartment as her room. While it was sometimes suffocatingly narrow, it wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
Huddling together in a place where the living room, bedroom, and bathroom were so packed with furniture and luggage that there was hardly room to step, the three of them had grown closer than before. They fought more often, and they laughed more often.
[It's okay. We'll be moving soon anyway.]
[Yes, just bear with it a little longer. Soon we can live in our real home. You don't have to feel diminished because we're renting anymore. The house is clean and spacious, so feel free to bring your friends over often.]
Alan laughed heartily, his face pale and exhausted from a lack of sunlight.
From the time Jiyu entered puberty, Ae-jeong had been pestering Alan, saying they needed to get a house quickly so that the child wouldn't feel discouraged at school during such a sensitive period. That Jiyu didn't bring friends over because the house was in such a state was Ae-jeong's favorite recurring theme.
Jiyu had simply not let it show to her parents, but she had known long before puberty that her family's financial situation was different from her friends'.
In the lower grades of Lower School, she had been too young and naive to realize the economic disparity. But as she moved into the upper grades, that difference began to manifest starkly.
Attending school mixed in with a princess from a Middle Eastern country, a department store heiress, and the daughters of hedge fund CEOs, she naturally couldn't help but realize her own socio-economic position.
The 'rich kids' she had known since childhood, including Hunter and Rex, played a part in that.
It was not easy to survive while maintaining one's self-esteem among children who traveled by private jet, raised horses on ranches as pets, and threw birthday parties costing thousands of dollars.
Extremely ordinary and timid, she first had to learn how to become an invisible person who didn't bother anyone.
Had she lived in a neighborhood other than Manhattan, she would have easily belonged to the middle class, but she was in the bottom 30 percent of the Upper East Side private school. Below her were the 25 percent of students receiving tuition assistance, and she barely managed to stay within that 30 percent simply because she paid full tuition.
Sometimes, she imagined what it would have been like if she had attended an ordinary public school.
'If I had, would I have become a confident and bold person like Hunter or Sienna? Why do I always feel like I'm lacking something? I also hate how I try to run away and pretend not to see it whenever there's a problem.'
While there were things she couldn't tell Ae-jeong, Jiyu could speak relatively freely with Alan.
[You said your personality was similar to mine when you were young, right?]
[Yes. You take after me quite a bit.]
However, in her eyes, Alan did not seem timid at all, as he was recognized at his company and could engage in friendly conversations with strangers.
[When did you get that kind of confidence, Dad? At what age can you say what you want in front of many people without hesitation, and stop feeling nervous no matter what you do?]
[Oh dear. What to do... I still get nervous every time I give a presentation in front of my bosses. When I take off my jacket afterward, my back is soaking wet.]
As Jiyu looked slightly surprised, Alan stroked her hair.
[Libby-derby, don't be too impatient. There's no need to force yourself to change your innate personality. As you get older and find things you're good at, you'll naturally gain much more confidence than you have now. People naturally get used to things the more they interact with others.]
[...Do you think so?]
[Of course! Libby, you're growing up so well that I couldn't ask for anything more. If I had known a child as kind and lovely as you would be born, I would have proposed to your mother the moment I met her.]
Alan smiled and kissed the crown of Jiyu's head.
[Then I could have stayed by my daughter's side for much longer. I'm worried because I'm too old.]
[Don't say things like that, Dad!]
When Jiyu made a sad face, he patted her head.
[Don't worry, Libby-derby. I'll be by your side until you get sick of me and tell me to go away. I love you, my daughter. Have fun at school today!]
Upon arriving at the subway station, Alan waved and turned around.
[You too, Dad!]
She watched him until he descended the stairs to the subway entrance and looked back from the last car to wave one more time. Then, as she walked briskly toward Aster School, she murmured to herself.
“I forgot to tell Dad I love him. I'll make sure to do it tomorrow...”
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