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It was because Yulan, who had been gently prying my mouth open, had suddenly applied more pressure.
Despite that, I couldn't help but hesitate for a moment.
‘A single kiss is definitely... more comfortable for the heart than the act he mentioned first. But...’
Isn't kissing an act typically reserved for lovers?
One could argue that there's no point in playing coy when we've already seen everything there is to see.
However, isn't it common for people to overlap their bodies simply to satisfy mutual desire?
On the other hand, clashing lips and sharing breath felt a bit more... intimate.
Before experiencing it, I thought it would be much the same, but having gone through most other acts with Yulan, I realized there was a distinct difference.
‘That's why I never kissed him once after our first meeting...’
Yulan had mocked me for saying kissing was absolutely off-limits, but he hadn't ignored my wish.
The reason he was suddenly demanding a kiss, his desire laid bare, was probably...
“Don't tell me you're jealous of Sol— mmp...!”
Lips that had been maintaining a distance, almost touching, suddenly collided.
As if he didn't want to hear the end of my question.
...As if he didn't want to recall the answer himself.
“Wait, hold, on!”
I turned my head to avoid Yulan's persistent advances, but he followed quickly.
Because of that, my words kept getting cut off, but I finally managed to form a sentence of refusal and barely stopped him.
It was almost laughable how he could act so selfishly, yet retreat so obediently at a single word.
‘If I had firmly said I hated it, he probably would have let it go without dragging it further. Knowing that, and yet I...’
I gave him space, allowed his touch, and shared my breath.
I felt ashamed, as if he noticed the feelings hidden in every small action better than I did myself.
Pretending to catch my shallow breath to buy time, I lifted my head, following the gaze I felt near my cheek.
There, still... no, an even more intense desire than before the kiss was burning in a green hue.
A shiver ran through me every time his breath touched my wet lips.
Only after my heaving shoulders finally settled could I arrange a proper sentence.
“Can I... take this as it is?”
“Who knows...”
His heavily raspy voice heightened the tension between us with a single phrase.
I was conscious of every single joint of the fingers gripping my waist.
The moment the third joint of his ring finger tapped lightly against my hip.
“I don't like situations where my rationality wavers.”
“...”
“Normally, there would be no way in hell I'd indulge in such a ridiculous thing.”
He was simply describing the situation, but the content was excessively business-like.
For a moment, it felt as if ice water had been poured over my head, snapping me back to my senses.
Because our posture was too... well, close, there was a limit to how much composure I could maintain.
Yulan had very easily shattered that thin atmosphere.
As I naturally tried to move away, a firm knee slid between my legs.
Thus, like prey caught in a snare, I was left immobile, forced to listen to his declaration.
“It seems we're both out of our minds anyway, so why not just enjoy it?”
“...Ha.”
“Playing with complicated emotions only gives you a headache. Let's just keep it light. Like a breeze, let it drift away.”
It was a flow so smooth, like coaxing a child with sweets.
If I just thought of it as drifting on a breeze for a moment, as he said.
If I could just summarize everything as "that was really fun" once it was all over...
‘...Could I actually do that?’
It wasn't that I completely distrusted my own rationality.
But even if I remembered my past life and the original story, I couldn't deny the fact that she had been ‘Yevgenia.’
Though I had matured mentally, I couldn't be certain that I wouldn't show a glimpse of the ‘Yevgenia-like’ side of me if I fell in love again.
‘After all, both that Yevgenia and the current Yevgenia are me.’
Hiding my trembling heart, I looked at Yulan.
Blink, blink.
After fluttering my red eyelashes a few times without haste, I carefully reached out.
My arms, which had been awkwardly draped, were now naturally embracing Yulan's neck.
I slowly but surely narrowed the remaining distance.
Finally, when the edge of my upper lip, which protruded slightly like a beak, touched Yulan's.
I stopped hesitating and charged forward.
‘I can't just stay frozen, fearing a future that may or may not come. I have to act like Yulan's lover anyway, so I can just think of this as a very realistic performance.’
I closed my eyes tight and crashed my lips against his, but I didn't know how to proceed further.
My courage ended exactly here.
Inwardly, a desire for Yulan to lead the way after this crept up.
Perhaps infected by Yevgenia's timidness, Yulan stopped exactly as he was.
At first, I thought he was surprised by my sudden action.
When I squinted slightly to check his state.
“...Hng.”
I found myself staring into green eyes that looked as if they would pierce right through me.
He was currently—that is, he wasn't shy, nor was he surprised.
‘Is he... waiting? For me... to move?’
What word should I use to describe this emotion?
Bewilderment? Perplexity? Absurdity?
Whichever it was, what was certain was that it was intense enough to shake even the resolve I had firmly set.
It was also him who instinctively grabbed my body.
Applying strength to the hand on my waist, he lifted me slightly and moved.
Before long, my back hit a hard wall.
“Ah...!”
The distance between us neither narrowed nor widened, but by moving a few steps, any space for me to escape was completely blocked.
It would be a lie to say I wasn't anxious.
Nevertheless, I couldn't help the trembling in a corner of my heart.
Our lips, still touching, were soft.
A softness entirely different from his actions or way of speaking, which made me instinctively tighten my grip.
Tilting his head slightly to touch noses, he pressed his lips against mine and spoke.
“Do more. Everything you want to do.”
“That’s...”
“I'm allowing this only for you, Zhenya. Aren't you greedy for it?”
At his suggestive question, I unconsciously swallowed hard.
I did so knowing that because our lips were pressed together, every single movement of mine was being exposed to him.
A greed that made my throat go bone-dry moved my body.
My tongue, cautiously slipping through the tightly closed gap of his lips, traced the touching lips.
After tracing the smooth lips, I pushed my tongue through the slightly open crevice.
The moist interior of his mouth was wide enough to fully accommodate my tongue.
‘Whenever Yulan smiled, a gap would form at the corners of his mouth. That...’
His smiling face naturally filled my mind.
The gap between this vulgar act I was performing and his gentle face made my head spin.
To erase this awkwardness, I focused more on the kiss, and without realizing it, my body leaned forward.
Accepting my weight effortlessly, he chuckled, the sound vibrating inside my mouth.
The situation where his laughter resonated within my own mouth was far too stimulating.
Surely, from my face down to my neck, I must be flushed bright red.
Trying to ignore the heat rising in my body, I slowly pulled my lips away.
The lingering silver thread snapped with a soft pop.
“W-w-what are you... doing...!”
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