.jpg)
“Now of all times?”
“Give me a break. What’s that supposed to mean? You were the one who asked me the question!”
“Men are all the same. They use you only when they need something, suck you dry, and then toss you aside as if they were never affectionate. So, Lara, you should just live with your big brother for the rest of your life.”
“You are leaping to conclusions. The sun is already setting. I believe it would be best to head back for today.”
The sun had been setting for a while. The crimson sun hung on the ridge of the mountain, and the surrounding sky was already draped in a long, elegant band of purple.
Using the excuse of the adults' conversation, which had been postponed, Valentin tried to lift me onto the saddle. I struggled with all my might, but once Vasily joined in, I had no choice.
‘Right, Vasily counts as one of those men, too.’
I will never again be a pitiful child used by adults. Absolutely not!
This time, Lara, carrying us, galloped past Vasily and took the lead. Makhachkala, at the hour when the curtain of night was rolling in, was dazzlingly beautiful. While pondering the prophecy Valentin had left me with, I set aside my resentment for a moment and asked him.
“Valentin.”
“Yes.”
“Am I really going to die in the future?”
His indigo-turquoise eyes, which had been fixed solely on the road ahead, glanced at me. After a short silence, he replied in a tone that suggested I was asking the most random thing.
“It seems you’ve fallen into an absurd sentimentality. However, everyone is destined to die in the future.”
“I’m not talking about that kind of future. You said it yourself—that my future is ‘non-existent.’ Didn’t that mean I might die long before Vasily does?”
“It did not.”
“Didn’t you say earlier that it was possible?”
“That was a lie.”
A lie? At first, I was so dumbfounded that I couldn't even speak.
As the strength left the hand holding the reins, Valentin’s hand covered the back of mine, forcing me to grip them again. Of course, that wasn't what was important right now.
“What did you just say?”
“I said it was a lie.”
“From where to where?”
“Only some parts.”
“Which parts, exactly?”
“I wonder.”
“Are you joking? Tell me properly!”
I scolded him, looking back with an expression devoid of any playfulness, but he didn't look frightened in the least. Instead, with a face of utmost seriousness, he added a piece of nonsense.
“Hmm. Coincidentally, I’ve forgotten which lies I told...”
“No, you haven't, right? That was a lie just now, wasn't it? You're teasing me right now, aren't you?”
In a sudden fit of pique, regardless of safety, I bit down hard on the back of Valentin's hand. He let out a light laugh and continued to urge the horse forward with an expression that said, ‘Bite me all you want, do as you please.’ Still, if I wasn't mistaken, Valentin's eyes seemed a bit complicated. Since his reaction was boring, I stopped talking shortly after.
After arriving at the stables, before parting ways with Valentin, I asked one favor of him. Being annoyed was one thing, but a request was a request.
“Come and ride for me sometimes. You don't need my permission; Lara will like it too.”
“The swift Lara, you mean.”
Valentin turned away with a face that didn't show a shred of regret.
As I pouted and glared at his back, I noticed his stride, which should have been steady, was strangely off. He was limping slightly on one foot.
‘Did he get hurt while getting off the saddle?’
No sooner had I observed him closely with questioning eyes than Valentin's gait returned to normal. Then, he vanished in a flash.
I don't know why, but whenever I'm with Valentin, I feel like I'm the only one losing.
That night.
I visited Vasily for a brief moment before going to bed. Sitting on the lap of the man who was busy writing letters, I apologized for speaking carelessly about his private life and informed him about the lie Valentin had mentioned.
Vasily kissed my forehead and then took me back to my room.
“I’ll keep what you said in mind, Lara. What you heard today is closer to a joke from Valentin. He’s quite a prankster, even if he pretends not to be. Don't read too much into it; it's late, so let's get some sleep.”
After laying me in bed, he gently patted my back until I drifted into a light sleep, and only then, deep into the night, did he return to his own bedroom. In the hazy gap of my fading consciousness, I thought of Valentin.
There was something I realized while talking with Valentin today. It was the fact that most of the emotions I felt toward him and the intentions I had defined on my own might be misjudgments. I thought that perhaps it was my misconception that Valentin didn't readily acknowledge me or found me deeply bothersome.
If anything, I was the one who had made him uncomfortable with my sharp words, and if Valentin truly found me bothersome, he wouldn't have held my hand to go to the stables or requested to ride with Vasily.
‘Yes, that must be it.’
Despite having spent barely an hour together, my impression of Valentin melted away like ice in the spring.
‘He might actually be a decent person.’
Maybe he's just very shy. If I see his face more often, wouldn't we become closer than we are now?
The next day, I sent a message inviting Valentin to the Imperial Palace. He was away, so I couldn't reach him.
The day after that, I sent a message inviting Valentin to the Imperial Palace. Again, he was away, so I couldn't reach him.
The day after the day after that, I sent a message inviting Valentin to the Imperial Palace. He declined, saying he was busy.
“Damn it.”
The day after the day after the day after...
“Damn you, Valentin!”
What? That he might be a decent person? That he might just be a bit shy? That it was all my misconception that he found me bothersome?
That was the real miscalculation.
Because that damn Valentin had rejected every single one of my five invitations, without exception!
I am strong-willed.
My persistence is extraordinary.
I am also quite jealous and possessive of my things, so I am an expert at wearing people out. If necessary, I was prepared to cast aside my dignity to achieve my desires.
In short, it meant I was confident that I could emerge victorious in a 'war of attrition' against Valentin.
“The letter that arrived yesterday was the ninth.”
At the dining table, where only the clinking of silverware echoed, three pairs of eyes turned toward me. The reactions were varied. The eldest son silently wiped his mouth and sipped his black tea; the second son shook his head; the eldest daughter rested her chin on her hand with an intrigued expression.
“What was the excuse this time?”
Scoop. Tatyana asked me while scooping up a generous amount of blueberries with her teaspoon. I answered while chewing the sweet and sour blueberries.
“He said he had a prior engagement.”
“With whom?”
“Emma Evgenievna Tolstoy.”
“Ah.”
“A poetry reading, apparently.”
“The coming-of-age ball is next month, so it's the time when heirs of influential families from all over gather. A poetry reading is not a bad start.”
In the Ohala Empire, the coming-of-age ball is held in March, at the start of spring.
The social season begins with the young noblemen who have reached adulthood or the children of influential families bowing before the Empress at this ball. During this season, which lasts for a full four months, young men and women gather in Makhachkala in small groups. Much like migratory birds.
.jpg)