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LOS 66
10.
Radio Broadcast
Luise was curious.
Why had the higher-ups entrusted Giles Hessen to her?
There were plenty of officers capable of handling this task. They could have chosen someone with no prior connection to Giles, yet they specifically chose Luise, who had been a close classmate of Giles Hessen during their academy days.
Of course, having been somewhat close to him as children changed nothing. What could a faded friendship possibly alter?
And yet, Luise occasionally wondered. She pondered what advantage she alone might possess...
Perhaps they thought Giles would lower his guard to some extent in front of her. If so, the higher-ups had hit the bullseye.
While other soldiers treated Luise with strict formality, to Giles Hessen, she was not Major Luise Gottlieb, but simply Luise, his academy classmate. To a man who no longer felt any sense of belonging to the Beldam Army, the rank insignia on Luise's chest held no real meaning.
Though they monitored Giles through the intelligence agency and spread endless stories about him through the press, the truth was that even the higher-ups did not truly know him.
They were anxious, never knowing what kind of erratic behavior Giles might exhibit. Giles was a man capable of doing anything if he set his mind to it. After all, he was a man who had killed his own beloved sister with his own hands.
They did not want Giles to engage in dangerous behavior, such as attempting suicide or harming the guards.
However, no one truly knew how to appease Giles enough to keep him docile. Most of them had only heard stories about him and had never actually faced him in person.
In such a situation, they may have concluded that she was the only soldier who knew, however slightly, how to handle Giles Hessen.
Luise herself was equally unsure of how to handle him. Nearly seven years had passed since they last met.
Furthermore, they had drilled into her head so relentlessly that Giles was a despicable piece of human scum that Luise had forgotten what kind of person he had originally been.
But at this moment, now that Giles was sitting right before her eyes, the memories seemed to be slowly returning.
One thing was certain: he did not look like a demon.
What Luise saw was simply Giles Hessen. A man who had lost his own color, covered in all sorts of dishonor. He didn't seem like a time bomb, nor was he filled with rage. Even if Luise did nothing in particular, Giles behaved quietly.
Except, of course, when the conversation turned to Anna.
Luise had dinner with Giles again today. Her reason for spending mealtime with him was simple. First, Luise had a duty to maintain Giles's health, and second, various conversations often naturally arose during meals.
Giles was cutting his food with a soulless precision, heavy handcuffs shackling both wrists. Despite being served fine food, he was passive, as if he were reluctant to perform the act of prolonging his own life.
"No appetite?"
She asked. Giles did not answer. It seemed as though this mealtime was making him sick.
"Tell me what the problem is."
"It's nothing."
"If you're feeling unwell, you have to tell me. I'll send for medical staff."
"There's no need."
"Is it because you miss Anna?"
As she gently provoked him, Giles stopped his movements for a moment. However, he soon regained his composure.
"Don't say things like that."
"Why? You love her. Don't you want to know what Anna is doing right now?"
"As long as her safety is guaranteed, that is enough."
"Is it really? I imagine you'd still want to hear some news. For example, I could tell you a few things every time I face you. Like, that Anna has started seeing another man, or something like that."
As she scratched at a sensitive spot, a reaction came immediately from Giles. He stopped his hand and glared at Luise. He looked angry.
"What exactly is your intention in saying such things?"
"I was just giving an example."
"Whether that is true or not, don't think I would care."
"You really don't care if Anna meets another guy?"
"..."
He couldn't bring himself to answer that he didn't care. Instead, with a face of resignation, he looked back down at his plate. Luise could tell he was trying hard not to appear shaken.
"I'm as good as dead anyway. A living person is better than a dead one. For Anna's sake, too."
"Speaking of which, I visited to check on Anna yesterday, and do you know what I saw? I heard a strange noise coming from the room. I was sure Anna was sick. So I broke the door open and entered, only to find her screaming underneath a new lover. In a good way, of course. I heard his technique is much better than yours."
Giles finally put down his utensils. Behind her smiling face, Luise secretly observed his behavior. She wanted to see the real Giles. The fact that he was acting so docile now meant he must be hiding his true nature.
Giles was a man who had lived steeped in violence. While that was true for anyone who had experienced war, there was a difference between him and the soldiers thrown into combat.
Giles had been the executor of violence. Was it not his job to tie up people who didn't even know how to swing a sword and torture them to his heart's content?
He killed people he had shared smiles and handshakes with. He killed his closest friends and even drove a blade into the body of his own family. Despite doing such things, he had somehow managed to keep his sanity intact.
Luise believed that a dark nature resided within him, just as the newspapers claimed.
At the very least, a cadet who had attended the academy with her could not have done such things. Giles had changed. She wanted to see him prove for himself that he was no longer the Giles Hessen she once knew.
If he did so, Luise would be able to completely erase the remnants of the old days that lingered in her mind like a weakness.
Get angry, Giles. Flip the table, lung at me, and grab me by the collar. You can even swing your fists. Show me directly how much you've changed in the meantime.
"She said she forgot all about someone like you."
"Stop."
"I'm telling you, she was screaming with pleasure."
"Luise, stop it."
Now he had turned his head away and was rubbing his forehead with one hand. Luise thought Giles was struggling to suppress his anger.
But when he lifted his head again, there was no trace of anger or hatred to be found on his face.
"Next time, please respect her privacy."
"Is that all you have to say?"
"What kind of reaction do you want from me? Anna is simply living her own life. As I said, I am a man who will soon be dead. It is my job to step out of Anna's life. It will be better for Anna not to be entangled with me anymore."
What was the reason? Had the fact that he was to be executed soon made him detached?
No matter what he said, Luise still doubted him. He was not such a rational and quiet person. He shouldn't be.
The person currently before Luise's eyes seemed far too distant from the Giles Hessen that everyone hated.
That was why it was hard for Luise to accept Giles as he was.
It felt as if she were being deceived by someone. It was a very unpleasant feeling. She had to resolve this emotion somehow.
"Anna abandoned you."
"And what of it?"
"You gave your life for Anna, but in the end, she started rolling around with another man."
"Let her."
"Aren't you angry? Why aren't you reacting? Don't think you can keep deceiving me like this, Giles Hessen. You don't usually act this way. Even if you pretend to be a gentle lamb in front of me, it won't change the sentence you'll receive."
"Are you trying to say that I've failed your expectations?"
On the contrary, Giles was now completely undisturbed. Was this not enough? While Luise was thinking this, he spoke again.
"I am a murderer. I killed many people just to save my own skin. Even though I'm not even from Ipswin. I am a person who deserves to be hated, so there's no need to go looking for a justification. Even if I don't act out against you, I've done plenty of loathsome things. You know that too. My coming to Beldam was partly to save Anna, but it was also because I felt I wanted to stop."
"Stop? What?"
"Just... at some point, the very fact that I was alive and well became unbearable."
Giles smiled, but to Luise, it felt like a mask hastily donned to hide his true expression. He couldn't even meet Luise's eyes.
"The things I do always manifest as disasters. I thought I was helping someone, but in reality, that wasn't the case. No matter how much I struggle to do the right thing, it seems I cannot hide my contaminated essence. Anna cried a lot because of me. She was hurt and abused herself. That was all because of me. The moment I realized I had pushed her into a pit... I wanted to stop everything. I thought it was time to admit it. That the more I run away, the more the sins I haven't atoned for only harm those around me."
"So, are you trying to say you came here to commit suicide?"
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