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LOS 71
The first thing I did upon returning to the main building of the mansion was to dye my hair black again. I no longer had any reason to hide my true hair color.
Maintaining blonde hair required constant bleaching, which severely damaged my hair. Being naturally black-haired, it was even worse for me. It was time to set my hair free.
After washing my hair and looking in the mirror, the old me with flowing black hair was there. I had lived as a blonde for several months, but returning to this didn't feel awkward; rather, I felt as though I had finally reclaimed my true self.
I am still here.
In the end, none of it could kill me.
And it will continue to be so.
Anna Keating. That is my name and my identity.
Adele had now become something of a companion to me. She was aware that Arent had visited and that he had left behind a script that I was expected to recite exactly as written on the radio broadcast.
Adele gasped as she flipped through the pages of the script.
“You have to say this much?”
“I suppose they want to fill the airtime.”
“Anna, will you be able to memorize all of this?”
“I don't think I need to memorize it perfectly. No one will know if I read it while speaking. Though, of course, I have read through all of it,” I added belatedly.
Adele, on the other hand, looked at me with a worried expression.
“Will you be alright, Anna?”
“About what?”
“You said you still love Giles Hessen. But this... this is actually content that condemns him. It’s written right here: ‘I no longer love him.’”
I was inwardly grateful that Adele cared for me. She seemed concerned that this broadcast might hurt my feelings even slightly. However, I had mentally prepared myself firmly, and thus, I felt nothing.
“What can I do? This is exactly what people want to hear. Besides, they said that if I do the broadcast, they'll let me meet Giles. If I can meet him by telling one lie, I would lie a thousand times over.”
“Are you really sure you're okay?”
“I told you, I'm fine. If you're that worried, do you want to find out for yourself?”
I sat facing Adele and placed the script between us.
“Let’s do a rehearsal. You be the host. See how naturally I can say it.”
“Ah, okay...”
She cleared her throat a few times and began to read the script.
Inside the large room, our private rehearsal began.
“Welcome back, listeners. This time, we have a very special guest. She is more famous than the most distinguished actors and is the protagonist of the most talked-about romance in the history of Beldam. The woman who appears on the front page of the newspapers every single day! It is Miss Eloise Bismarck. It is an honor to meet you, Countess Bismar.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you too.”
“Is this your first time doing an interview? How do you feel?”
“I'm very nervous. But I know many people are listening. So, I will try my best to tell my story without leaving anything out.”
“Wonderful, Miss Bismarck. May I call you Eloise for convenience?”
“Yes, that’s fine.”
“Then, Eloise. I heard you returned to your homeland, Beldam, not long ago. What were your impressions? Surely Ipswin and Beldam are quite different?”
“It is a truly beautiful country. I felt almost resentful that I only stepped foot on Beldam soil now.”
“Congratulations on your safe return. However, I heard that you had a companion when you returned to Beldam.”
“That’s right. He is... I don’t know if I should say his name.”
“Please, go ahead. It’s fine. It’s a name everyone knows anyway.”
“I came to Beldam with Giles Hessen. To be precise, I ended up at the border while fleeing from him. Beldam saved me.”
“What was the situation like then? Could you tell us in more detail, Eloise?”
“Of course. It would be better to start with my own story. While living in hiding in Ipswin, I had to do whatever it took to conceal the fact that I was from the Beldam nobility. However, my identity was discovered by Giles Hessen. I thought he would kill me, but surprisingly, he spared my life. Perhaps he took a liking to me. It would have been fine if it ended there, but... Giles used my situation to force me to act out a romance. I had no choice. If I didn't tell him I loved him, or if I didn't do whatever he commanded, he could have killed me at any moment.”
“Were there any demands for intimacy among those requirements?”
“Yes, that’s right. He forced me into bed. Please do not judge me. I believe you all understand the feeling of having to do anything just to survive.”
“Of course we understand. You must have been in a truly difficult situation.”
“I couldn't live like that forever. I desperately craved freedom. Living in hiding was hard enough, but clinging to a man's favor and living every day in anxiety was like torture. That is why I ran away. To escape from Giles Hessen's grasp.”
“And in the end, you succeeded. Do you happen to remember any anecdotes? I imagine there were often unforgettable incidents while you were with him.”
“I...”
“Anna, I think we can stop here. You were so natural! I'm sure you'll do great when you go to the station.”
I wondered why Adele had stopped.
“What is it, Adele?”
“The next part is too cruel; I simply cannot bear to hear it with my own ears.”
She turned her head away stubbornly, as if she didn't even want to look at the script. I read what I was supposed to say next.
“The part where Giles executes people in front of me?”
“It's written in too much detail! Please, don't say any more than that. I'm so squeamish that I close my eyes when passing by a butcher shop. You can imagine how harsh the war must have been for me, right? I never want to hear stories like that again.”
I didn't want to force my will upon Adele. So, I silently read through the script on my own. It listed anecdotes of things I had experienced while staying with Giles. Of course, they were all lies. Such things had never even happened.
The climax among them was the final question and answer.
‘Miss Eloise Bismarck, do you love Giles Hessen?’
‘No. I have never truly loved him, not even once. I didn't in the past, I don't now, and I will absolutely never love him in the future.’
“...I will absolutely never love him in the future.”
As I recited the last part as if talking to myself, Adele peeked at me.
“What? What will never happen?”
“It’s nothing. I'm just saying that's how it's written.”
I put the script down. Then, in a cheerful voice as if nothing had happened, I said:
“Shall we go get some fresh air? The weather is exceptionally nice today. Let’s forget all about these cruel stories.”
Remembering something, I added with a smile:
“Shall I give you a ride?”
However, Adele's answer was immediate.
“No.”
The day of the broadcast arrived quickly. After a quick breakfast, I prepared to go out wearing a white blouse and a red skirt. Adele wanted me to wear something more glamorous, but I wanted to go out as my original self.
Arent came to pick me up around 11 AM. Upon seeing me, he adjusted his glasses and spoke.
“You look a bit different.”
“Did you notice?”
“Unless one is blind, how could they not? Your hair color has changed.”
“This was my original hair color. I look more like myself, don't I?”
Arent gave no particular answer.
We headed to the broadcasting station together in a car. Since I had a few experiences with broadcasting stations, I wasn't particularly nervous. When I lived in Ipswin, I used to visit the station every week to perform.
The Beldam broadcasting station didn't seem much different. Numerous people moved in and out of the large building. A magnificent chandelier cast a bright light from above. That part could be said to be slightly different; the Ipswin station had no such chandelier.
Arent and I stepped into the elevator. As he pushed the grated iron door shut, the elevator soon began to move. Despite being squeezed into the narrow space, he didn't show a hint of discomfort.
“Have you read the script?”
“Enough to be sufficient.”
“The host will lead you well. Do not worry too much.”
“I'm not worried.”
He didn't respond further. The elevator took us to the recording studio where the broadcast would take place. Many staff members were already waiting there. Perhaps they had been instructed beforehand, as they merely nodded their heads upon seeing me, without acknowledging me or showing surprise.
I shook hands with the host. With a bright impression like an optimist, he looked to be around the same age as Arent.
“Pleasure to meet you, Miss Bismarck. I am Leo Schmidt.”
“Pleasure to meet you. I assume you already know about me.”
“Of course, you are quite a famous figure.”
He winked at me and guided me inside the recording studio. They told me I would be interviewed in the first program.
Leo looked back and forth between his wristwatch and the clock on the studio wall and said:
“There are about ten minutes left.”
That amount of time could hardly be called long. I waited calmly. Just as I would compose myself in front of a piano before starting a performance.
“Don't be too nervous. It'll be easier than you think,” he whispered to me.
Leo seemed to think I had no experience with broadcasting stations. Instead of explaining, I simply nodded quietly.
Outside the recording studio, the producer counted down with his fingers.
Three, two, one...
He pointed to a red bulb. The light came on. It meant the broadcast had started.
I looked at the host and smiled like a kind and innocent woman.
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