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Her complexion was sallow, and her short, brittle hair—which looked as though she had hacked it off herself while looking in a mirror—showed a stark increase in grey hairs since she had stopped dyeing it. Her forearm, where the IV was inserted, was gaunt and thin, and her skin looked like a piece of dried parchment. Her pointed nails, which had always been adorned with flashy polish, were now trimmed short and surrounded by calluses and messy hangnails.
“Mom…”
Jiyu called out to her, her voice sounding as if she were being strangled.
Just then, a middle-aged Hispanic woman sitting at the foot of the bed called out to her with a thick Spanish accent.
[Are you perhaps Olivia? Natalie’s daughter?]
Natalie was the English name Ae-jeong used whenever she made restaurant reservations or ordered at franchise cafes, as the staff often struggled to pronounce ‘Ae-jeong.’
When Jiyu nodded, the woman let out a sigh of relief.
[I’m Maria, the one who spoke with you on the phone earlier.]
Maria was the housekeeper for the home where Ae-jeong worked. She was the one who had called Jiyu from Ae-jeong’s phone to inform her that she had been admitted to the emergency room.
Now that she thought about it, Jiyu remembered Ae-jeong mentioning Maria in passing a few times.
Had she said Maria was from the Dominican Republic? She had mentioned they became close quickly because they shared the common experience of recently losing their husbands and raising a daughter alone.
This morning, Maria, who had come to clean the house, had gone to the basement to get cleaning supplies and discovered Ae-jeong collapsed on the floor through a half-open door, prompting her to call 911. She said that because there was vomit scattered across the floor, she initially thought Ae-jeong had food poisoning.
[She had been acting a bit strange lately. She’d cry, saying she was depressed and wanted to die. But not long ago, she asked me something odd. She asked where on earth one could get strong drugs like PentaX. So I told her that if you just step a little bit out of this neighborhood, there are plenty of dealers lounging around the streets of Brooklyn. She said she’d never been to a dangerous neighborhood in her life so she didn't know, and when she asked where those places were, I gave her a few locations, but….]
Maria sighed with a grief-stricken face. Then, she suddenly looked up and asked Jiyu.
[You heard about the debt from Natalie, right?]
[…Debt?]
This was the first Jiyu had ever heard of it. Ae-jeong loathed debt as much as she loathed drugs. The reason they had come to live so frugally was that Ae-jeong had used all the money left over from selling their house to pay off debts. For her to be in debt again was unthinkable.
[Oh dear, I guess she hasn't told you yet. Well, you can hear about that when Natalie wakes up. I feel a bit awkward being the one to say it….]
Jiyu grabbed Maria’s hand firmly.
[Maria, please tell me! I need to know why my mom became like this. Once she wakes up, she’ll probably try to hide it. I’m an adult now. I need to know exactly what happened so I can help her.]
Seeing Jiyu pleading with a desperate face, Maria hissed a breath through her teeth, hesitated, and finally spoke.
[Oh goodness, I don’t know if I should be the one telling you this…. Anyway, from what I know, the debt Natalie owes is around a hundred thousand dollars. The amount wasn't that large at first. She bragged that she could pay it back quickly and borrowed from a Chinese loan shark, but because she couldn't pay it back on time, various fees and interest piled up, and it snowballed in an instant. I told her so many times that she shouldn't borrow money from people like that, tsk tsk….]
Upon hearing the amount of the debt, Jiyu staggered and gripped the bed rail.
[Natalie went to… what was it, a Korean church. She met a very wealthy man there, and he told her to invest in some kind of coin? I don’t know much about investing, but as soon as I heard it, it smelled like a scam. What kind of coin in the world exists that you can't even put in a wallet! But that wretched scammer must have told her he could increase her money tenfold within a year, claiming he had become an overnight millionaire that way. Natalie heard that and said she had to raise your college tuition….]
Maria shook her head with a lament.
[Sigh, but instead of increasing tenfold, it shrank to a tenth of its value within a year. The rich man who urged her to invest in those untouchable fake coins stopped coming to church for a month or two and then vanished in the middle of the night. It would have been fine if Natalie hadn't borrowed money from a loan shark thinking she’d hit the jackpot, but because she couldn't pay the interest, it seems she’s been in a very difficult position lately.]
Then, after a moment of hesitation, she added cautiously.
[A while ago, she grabbed me and cried, saying she just wanted to die. She mentioned she had life insurance and that if she died, her daughter could get the payout. At the time, I didn't think much of it, assuming she was just overwhelmed, but seeing this happen now….]
Feeling uneasy for some reason, Maria quickly crossed herself. Then, checking her watch, she hurriedly stood up.
[I want to stay until Natalie wakes up, but I have a housekeeping job in Manhattan this afternoon, so I have to go. Here, this belongs to Natalie.]
She handed Jiyu Ae-jeong’s handbag and phone, which she had been keeping in her own bag.
[You're going through a lot at such a young age, Olivia. Stay strong, and I'll see you again.]
The heaviness of Maria's frame enveloped Jiyu in a hug before she opened the curtain and left. Jiyu slumped into the chair Maria had been sitting in. With a vacant expression, she chewed over the story she had just heard.
Aside from the fact that a hundred-thousand-dollar debt had appeared, she couldn't quite wrap her head around the rest.
She had been pushed to the edge of a cliff once again.
‘How on earth can I pay back a hundred thousand dollars? Even if I earn it and pay it back slowly, the interest will keep growing in the meantime….’
The high sky seemed to descend until it was just a hand's breadth above her head. That sky was on the verge of collapsing and swallowing her and Ae-jeong whole.
‘What am I supposed to do in a situation like this…?’
She felt lost. Before the sky could even collapse, a sense of helplessness crushed her as if to flatten her.
Just then, Ae-jeong let out a low groan and suddenly mumbled something.
“Mom!”
Jiyu bolted upright and rushed to the bed. Ae-jeong’s eyelids twitched violently, opening and closing repeatedly. Her unfocused eyes stared at her. Her pupils were dilated to an eerie degree.
“Mom, are you okay? It’s me, Jiyu. Do you recognize me? Mom!”
“…Didn't… die yet. I died, right…? I have to… die….”
Ae-jeong blinked slowly, her eyes repeatedly rolling back and returning.
“Mom….”
Jiyu finally burst into tears, hugging Ae-jeong and sobbing uncontrollably.
“Don’t die… please, don’t die. I—I’m sorry. Mom, don’t leave me. I’m sorry….”
She begged for forgiveness blindly.
It felt as if everything that had happened to Ae-jeong was her own fault. Her mother had taken such a risk to try and raise the tuition for Columbia University. That was why she had risked everything and even taken out loans.
After blinking a few more times, Ae-jeong squeezed her eyes shut, and tears leaked from the corners of her lids. Still under the influence of the drugs, she rambled and cried like a small child.
“College, Columbia… my daughter, she’s going there. Huuu, what about the tuition…. It was definitely, hic, eleven hundred dollars, but now it’s thirty dollars. Huuu, there’s life insurance, Jiyu can get it if I die. I have to die!”
Ae-jeong’s eyes flickered wildly. Her hot breath created a white veil of condensation on the transparent wall of the respirator.
“Mom, Mom! Please wake up. You can’t die and leave me, Mom!”
Jiyu called out in a choked voice, wiping the tears flowing down Ae-jeong’s temples with her sleeve. Ae-jeong’s eyes, half-swallowed by her eyelids like someone drunk, gazed at Jiyu.
“…Jiyu?”
She murmured in a raspy voice.
“Mom! Are you coming back to us?”
Blinking and struggling to focus, Ae-jeong squeezed her eyes shut as if she were dizzy.
“Why… are you here.”
Ae-jeong forced the words out with great effort.
Overwhelmed by relief, Jiyu’s legs gave out, and she slumped down, gripping the guardrail. After sitting there for a moment, catching her breath, she pushed herself up. Ae-jeong was breathing steadily with her eyes closed. It seemed she had regained consciousness for a moment and then fallen back asleep.
Dr. Devgan, who happened to stop by the bed, checked her condition. He confirmed that her vital signs were stable. He hurriedly left after stating that she would stay in a general ward for one night and they would check her progress again the following morning.
Ae-jeong fully regained consciousness the next dawn. As soon as she saw Jiyu, she bit into her lips, which were white with peeling skin, and gasped for air while fighting back tears.
With swollen eyes, Jiyu gripped Ae-jeong’s hand with both of hers and buried her face. Tears fell in droplets, flowing between Ae-jeong’s fingers and pooling in her palm.
“Mom, don’t leave me alone. How am I supposed to live by myself? I’ll grow up quickly. I’ll find a way to get the money somehow, so please, just stay alive.”
“I’m sorry, Jiyu. Mom is… so sorry.”
Ae-jeong wailed with a cracked voice.
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