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Startled by the words that pierced right through her inner thoughts, Hee-jin hesitated, unable to speak. Min-sun smiled as if she understood.
It was something many music majors went through. It was a side effect of lacking social experience while pouring all their time and effort into music. Min-sun had seen many such cases herself.
There were students who didn't know how to use public transportation or lacked basic financial sense; in severe cases, some couldn't even eat a meal alone. It was because their parents had pampered them, feeding them by their side from a young age so they could focus entirely on practicing.
When people who clung solely to music lost their goal due to an injury or other misfortune, they lost their identity and wandered. Some even felt extreme suicidal urges, claiming they didn't know how to live.
Just as Min-sun had found meaning in life through her religious faith, she hoped Hee-jin would find a meaning of her own.
“This time may be painful now, but eventually, it will become an important part of your story. Whether the recovery is fast or slow... no one can know that, but if you don't give up, you will surely find a great meaning.”
Min-sun did not instill the expectation that Hee-jin would be able to return safely like she had. Rather, she spoke as if it wouldn't be a problem even if she couldn't return. What mattered was one's attitude toward life. She advised her to treat this time as an opportunity to think about who Yoo Hee-jin really is.
“...This is very different from what I thought.”
While listening to Min-sun's advice, Hee-jin realized why she had been relying on Go Seok-hyun so much. It was because of an anxiety that had resided deep in her heart for a long time. The anxiety that if she couldn't play the violin, she would become a useless human being.
That was why she needed Go Seok-hyun all the more. Only if he perfectly fixed her hand would her life find meaning again.
She had resented and been creeped out by Go Seok-hyun for creating an environment where she had no choice but to rely on him, but in truth, it was because she was weak—because she lacked the confidence to stand up on her own—that she had been depending on him.
If she did that, she could believe that rehabilitation wouldn't fail, and even if it did, she would have someone to blame. That was the strength sustaining the current Hee-jin, keeping her from collapsing.
She had endured by clinging to that, but Jung Min-sun was saying that the success or failure of rehabilitation wasn't the important part. She told her that she must acknowledge that the violin and her life are not one and the same, and begin a journey to find herself. Whether she could play the violin again or not, she was told to write the story of the person named Yoo Hee-jin regardless.
“…….”
Hee-jin fell into confusion, feeling a simultaneous rush of bleak terror, as if dropped into a vast ocean, and a faint glimmer of hope, as if discovering a light while wandering in the dark.
“Noona?”
Seok-hyun, who had been observing Hee-jin's reaction from the side, noticed the anomaly first and called her. However, Hee-jin seemed not to hear him; she gasped for breath and swayed violently. Quickly supporting her, Seok-hyun saw her forehead drenched in cold sweat and took out his phone to call 119.
“…Don’t… do it….”
Hee-jin gripped Seok-hyun's arm tightly. Seeing Hee-jin shake her head with difficulty, Seok-hyun put away the phone and instead picked up a glass of water to help her drink.
Because Min-sun understood the confusion Hee-jin felt better than anyone, she watched in silence, praying. Praying that Hee-jin would find her own path and move forward.
“Teacher, thank you for today.”
When Seok-hyun greeted her to signal that it was time to leave, Min-sun nodded in acknowledgment. As she packed her bag to leave first, she whispered one last word.
“If it's you, Ms. Yoo Hee-jin, you'll do well.”
✾ ✾ ✾
After finishing their meal, as Seok-hyun drove toward Han River Park, Hee-jin was lost in deep thought. Only after a considerable amount of time had passed did she realize the car had stopped. Thinking they had arrived home, Hee-jin tried to get out, only to be surprised by the unfamiliar scenery.
“Where is this?”
In front of the outdoor parking lot, there were plenty of green trees, and people could be seen strolling among them. Only after watching for a while did the river beyond them catch her eye.
“The Han River…?”
“I wanted to come before it got any hotter. Let's get out.”
Following Seok-hyun, who got out first, Hee-jin instinctively walked toward the river. As she moved through the trees, the open Han River unfolded before her eyes. The sky, draped in the setting sun, bore a subtle reddish hue, and the sunset glow shimmered over the calmly flowing river.
The buildings across the river in the distance were dyed a warm golden color by the sunset, and the lights of the bridge casting over the river were turning on one by one in the silence. Hee-jin was mesmerized by the peaceful scenery, as if it were painted on a canvas.
Seok-hyun stood beside her. The shadows of the people walking along the trail stretched long, and the leaves shaking in the breeze wavered following the reflected light. Faint laughter could be heard from afar, but the two remained silent, quietly melting into the scenery.
“Thank you for arranging this today.”
It was when the sun had completely set and it had become dark that Hee-jin finally spoke. Bright lights between the trees turned on, illuminating the walking trail.
“It was nothing. It was a beneficial time for me as well.”
Hee-jin found it difficult to read the expression on Go Seok-hyun's face. She wondered why she was even analyzing his expression and tried to turn her head away, but strangely, she couldn't. She felt that this suffocating feeling in her chest would only be relieved if she understood why he was looking at her with such an emotional expression.
“I bet. Since things went exactly as you intended.”
Without realizing it, she answered with a sneer, as if by habit, and Seok-hyun reached out. As his hand moved toward her face, Hee-jin glared at him with wide eyes. However, he simply brushed away a strand of hair stuck to her cheek and withdrew his hand. The strand of hair, having lost its hold, vanished instantly in the wind.
“Am I taking advantage of your desperation, Noona?”
“If you have a conscience, don't say no.”
“It's true that I used your desperate heart as fuel to keep your will strong. I believe that's why you're enduring the rehabilitation process so well. Isn't that right?”
Hee-jin turned her head away without answering. The strange attitude Go Seok-hyun had been showing lately was, as expected, because he simply didn't understand her. She was so disgusted by the thought that he believed there was nothing wrong with using her that she didn't even want to talk to him.
Song Young-woo, who did nothing because he didn't want to put in the effort or feared failing if he did, while spending his time putting others down; and Go Seok-hyun, who used other people's desperate hearts and lives as a means for his own gain. If asked which one was more malicious, Hee-jin could firmly say it was Go Seok-hyun. While Song Young-woo hurt others in a base manner, Go Seok-hyun held a person's entire life in his hand and swung it around.
“But after hearing Teacher Jung Min-sun's words today, I realized that I failed to consider your feelings in that process.”
Hearing those words, Hee-jin momentarily doubted her ears. She couldn't believe that Go Seok-hyun of all people would say such a thing. He, who had repeatedly caused pain without hesitation even after committing wrongs, was saying this now?
Toward Hee-jin, who looked back at him with disbelief, Seok-hyun spoke in a clear voice.
“I'm sorry.”
It felt as if her breath had stopped. This was nonsense. Go Seok-hyun was a man who didn't even understand her pain or anxiety. He was the one who had crushed her fingers and then brazenly acted as if there was no problem as long as he restored them to their original state—and now he was apologizing for not considering her feelings?
Hee-jin's head spun as all sorts of doubt and distrust welled up. Staring intently at Seok-hyun, she asked in a trembling voice.
“What... what is it this time? What kind of play are you putting on now, and what scheme are you trying to pull?”
Deep anger and hurt emitted a pungent scent of blood. Hee-jin didn't even realize she had bitten her lip to a pulp; she just continued to glare at him.
“It's not like that. As the teacher said, it was a precious time for you to look back at yourself, but I pushed you so that you couldn't. I felt that I absolutely had to apologize.”
Seok-hyun's hand moved toward Hee-jin's face once more, but Hee-jin violently shook it off. A drop of blood from her lip fell onto her cream-colored blouse.
“…Don't make me laugh. I don't believe you.”
“Noona.”
“Think about what you've done until now!”
Seok-hyun called her softly as if to calm her down, but Hee-jin's voice only grew more intense.
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