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LOZ 110
It had been quite a while since he last entered Jiyu's room.
Whenever he happened to drop by the Hamilton residence during the week, she would look visibly tense and avoid coming anywhere near him, terrified that the two of them might be caught. It had reached the point where the perceptive Lauren would subtly ask if he had done something wrong to Jiyu.
Something wrong.
He had almost.
In his heart, he wanted to snatch her as she fled the dining room and drag her back to his room. And he wanted to confirm it.
‘Joshua Fucking Yoon. Are you really just friends with that bastard? Do you actually like him? Is that why you let him touch your face? Fuck. Did you actually kiss?’
He wanted to fly into a rage, accusing her of breaking the conditions and grilling her mercilessly.
But he didn't.
In the South of France, he had lost his composure because of that son of a bitch's goddamn cousin and had made a pathetic spectacle of himself in front of Jiyu. That night, for the first time in his life, he spent time in self-criticism accompanied by regret.
Fighting and scrapping until he ended up soaking wet in a fountain—what a sight.
Once the excitement subsided, he found it unbearable to think about. It was far more embarrassing than when he had seen the video of himself smashing a racket because a match wasn't going his way.
Admitting that he had acted pathetically and reflecting on it was, truly, a pretty fucking shitty process.
After that day, Hunter resolved never to show that side of himself again, at least not in front of Jiyu. With the same mindset he used to master tennis techniques, he shaved down and refined his innate temperament. He took pride in the fact that he had achieved a certain level of success in that regard.
Tonight, too, he repeated the act of pacing in front of Jiyu's room like a madman before returning to his own several times. Only after he felt certain that he had managed his anger to some extent did he finally knock.
"Phew..."
Hunter rubbed his stiff neck and met Jiyu's eyes. She stepped back as if she were being threatened, quickly casting her gaze downward with a strangely guilty expression.
As he stared at her, his pulse spiked again.
‘Why are you avoiding my eyes? Did something actually happen with that bastard?’
Swallowing the words that had reached the tip of his tongue, Hunter clenched his teeth and took a deep breath. Then, he averted his gaze from Jiyu and flopped down onto a small sofa.
‘Calm down, Hunter Hamilton.’
He needed something to distract him for a moment. Resting his elbows on his knees with his fingers interlaced, he looked around the room.
Almost nothing had changed. Jiyu had lived here for a considerable amount of time—six years—but she kept almost no personal belongings. It was as if she were someone ready to leave at any moment.
The only evidence that she lived here was the stack of major-related textbooks neatly arranged on the desk.
‘Surely, she hasn't given up on independence still.’
The first night Jiyu slept in this room was the day she heard the news of her father Alan's passing.
Flustered and not knowing how to comfort her, he had simply pulled Jiyu into an embrace. But she burst into an even louder sob. Her shoulders, shaking as she wept, had looked so small and fragile.
As the chest of his t-shirt became hot and wet with her tears, his heart throbbed with a sharp sting, as if he had been hit by an electric shock. Without realizing it, he had held her even tighter.
Since then, his heart ached whenever he saw Jiyu.
It was the same now.
Letting out a long sigh, he finally lifted his head and gazed at Jiyu.
Was she always this beautiful? Why hadn't he realized it back then?
These days, just looking at Jiyu made him feel suffocated. To the point where, if another guy looked at her, he wanted to snap that bastard's windpipe.
In truth, Hunter had been quite satisfied with the past four years. Jiyu lived within the fence he had built, moving between the Hamilton residence and his apartment.
She didn't say things like wanting to leave for California or that they should stop and break up. Aside from Joshua Yoon, who clung to her like a leech under the guise of friendship, she had never caused him any stress regarding other men.
However, anxiety crept in as the date when the shackles on her slender ankles would be unlocked drew closer.
‘It's still okay. There's some time left.’
Based on Hunter's careful observation, Jiyu hadn't had the chance to save a large sum like a hundred thousand dollars during her four years of college.
The meager amount she earned from tutoring Daisy went toward living expenses, and the money she made from publishing house internships and bookstore part-time jobs during vacations was mere pocket change.
Therefore, the chain connected to the shackles was still within his grasp.
From a passing comment long ago, it seemed she intended to get a job at the publishing house where she had done her summer internship after graduation.
She would probably try to become independent.
But Hunter planned to move Jiyu into his apartment the moment she graduated. Getting a job at a publishing house didn't mean she would suddenly make a lot of money. So, as always, he believed things would eventually go exactly as he wanted.
And...
Though the plan wasn't detailed yet, he was researching a natural way to put a more permanent set of shackles on her.
"Come here," Hunter commanded, his voice sounding rough as it scraped his vocal cords.
Jiyu approached him with cautious steps, as if on guard. Extending his arm, he pulled her toward him and sat her on the coffee table. Then, trapping Jiyu's legs between his thighs as they sat facing each other, he lifted her lowered chin to meet her eyes.
"Now, explain."
Jiyu blinked in confusion, then shifted her gaze diagonally downward. She spoke in a small voice that was hard to hear unless one listened closely.
"It's exactly what I told Daisy. Josh helped me a lot with something, so I just treated him to lunch to say thank you."
"Ah. Was having lunch with you such an easy task?"
Hunter let out a self-mocking sneer.
In the South of France, it had certainly felt like Jiyu enjoyed romantic dinners quite a bit. But since returning to New York, she hadn't gone out for dinner with him a single time in the last four years.
Thinking she might not like his choice of restaurants, he suggested different places every time, but she always refused with one excuse or another.
Frustrated, he had subtly asked people around him, and they all said there was no woman who disliked such things. Yet, Jiyu was exactly that kind of woman.
Only after begging, coaxing, and finally resorting to threats would she reluctantly agree to go for brunch at a shabby diner near the apartment.
"I'm asking why something so difficult for me is so easy for that mold-spore bastard."
"..."
She stared at Hunter with a slightly surprised look, then clamped her mouth shut as if she didn't want to discuss it.
He let out a long sigh. Jiyu Parker was more stubborn than she seemed.
"Couldn't you have received that help from me? Why did it have to be that bastard?"
"It was... related to publishing."
Hunter snorted with a dissatisfied expression. It seemed to be related to her major. Of all things, they had to share the same major. That made it even more annoying.
He changed the subject.
"Why did he touch your face?"
"There was a cookie crumb on the corner of my mouth, so he just brushed it off. I felt uncomfortable too, so I pushed him away immediately."
"Should I just crush his fingers..."
Hunter muttered through his teeth as he reached out and cupped her face. Then, he rubbed the corner of her mouth with his thumb, as if erasing the spot where another man's hand might have touched.
Jiyu turned her head aside, pushing away even his touch. He frowned.
That bastard must have felt pretty shitty too.
Hunter relaxed the muscles in his body and took another deep breath.
No matter what, he would not get angry at Jiyu Parker. That was the principle he had vowed four years ago.
‘When that mold-spore bastard disappeared for a year, things were pretty decent.’
In truth, it was as if Hunter had chased him away.
Near the end of the spring semester of their sophomore year, while leaving the apartment with Jiyu for brunch, he spotted Joshua standing at the crosswalk across the street. Fortunately, she didn't seem to have seen him. So, he quickly pulled her close, making her turn her back to Joshua.
Then, as if to make a point, he embraced Jiyu in the middle of the street and kissed her. Though she struggled for a moment in surprise, she eventually wrapped her arms around his neck. Throughout the entire act, Hunter's gaze remained fixed on Joshua, who stood frozen in shock, watching them.
After pulling his lips away, he hugged her greedily and glared provocatively; only then did that idiot drop his head and turn away.
When summer vacation ended, he heard the news that Joshua had gone somewhere as an exchange student for a year. That year was the most exhilarating and peaceful time of Hunter's college life.
But once they became seniors, that leech returned. And as if to show off, he clung to her even closer than before, grating on Hunter's nerves at every turn.
A desperate longing for what one cannot have, bitter frustration, and a tender heart.
In Hunter's eyes, he could see that desperate look—constantly eyeing his possession, trying to find a weak link to penetrate and carve out a place for himself.
Yet Jiyu was completely oblivious to the way that bastard looked at her. Even when he told her, it seemed invisible to her eyes. That was probably why she looked at that bastard with the same affectionate expression she gave to a popsicle.
Every word Daisy had said at dinner stabbed into his solar plexus like a dagger.
"Maybe because her vibe is similar to my sister's, but they really looked good together."
Hunter was the one who knew that best.
Jiyu Parker and Joshua Yoon were as if they had been cut from the same cloth. Perhaps that was why she looked peaceful and happy when she was with Joshua.
He hated it more than death to admit that the reason his heart caught fire whenever he saw them together was actually because Joshua was a pretty decent guy.
That made him even angrier and more anxious.
‘Maybe Jiyu is happier with that bastard than she is with me.’
As that thought reached him, something bitter surged up. Hunter slowly lifted his gaze and stared at Jiyu.
‘But...’
Jiyu Parker was sitting in front of Hunter Hamilton. Not Joshua Yoon.
Within a distance where he could have her just by reaching out his hand.
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