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"It's not that."
I had so much to say. But seeing his nonchalant face, my fighting spirit seemed to wane.
"...I wanted to ask what you're going to do. You know my secret."
"I said I wouldn't kill you. I said I wouldn't kick you out."
"Then... then what should I do?"
That was the most important question. I wanted to live a long, long life. To do that, I had to prevent Cerden from Darkening/Corrupting.
I had to prevent Roger from going wrong, misunderstanding each other, and drawing swords. Before things escalated like that, I had to deal with Duke Cerden too.
Veronica and the Empress too...
"Just do what you want to do, like you're doing now."
"...Pardon?"
"But don't do anything dangerous or reckless."
"...This is the only way I know how."
I answered in a small voice.
"No one listens to me. And I can't tell anyone. So how..."
"Tell me."
"...To Your Highness?"
"I won't leave your sight. If you want, you can come to me anytime. Then I'll help you."
The things I had done so far came to mind. The cookies I had to eat, the gunpowder, the kidnapping, the assassin. And countless other minor things.
As Cerden said, it was reckless.
If I made a mistake, my identity could be exposed, or I could get hurt. My head was just filled with the thought that I had to do it.
"...What if Cerden isn't around?"
"I'll get you a new aide. Lady Rozalina won't be good enough for you."
"A monitor?"
"That's right."
Cerden answered too casually. I felt an inexplicable disappointment. He still thinks of me as someone he can't trust enough to need to monitor.
I'm baring my soul to him, but Cerden is still...
"I'm going to monitor you so you don't do anything dangerous again. I'm very strict in that regard."
"Prevent me from doing anything dangerous...?"
"Ask for help whenever you need it."
Cerden's words made me forget what I was just thinking. So that's what he meant by monitoring. I felt a little awkward.
I really seemed to have a tendency to think badly of Cerden.
"Ahem. Who is it, anyway?"
"Julia."
"Yes? The Duchess? What about Rodrick and Ria?"
"Your close friends?"
My eyes narrowed for a moment. Seeing him act like that even though he knew everything, it seemed like he was just trying to tease me.
That jerk.
"Those kids are old enough to take care of themselves. And you have to become the Empress someday."
He was saying something so obvious. Just as the Crown Prince is followed by the Emperor, my position was the same.
But why did those words sound so foreign?
"It's good to have trustworthy people around you in preparation for that time. I haven't talked to Julia about everything yet, but I don't think there will be any problems."
"...Can I become the Empress?"
At those words, Cerden raised his eyebrows.
"What do you mean?"
No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't come up with an answer. First of all, people think I'm an idiot. And I'm Spelman's child. If Cerden becomes the Emperor safely, he should bring in a politically helpful and normal woman, shouldn't he?
I'm a normal person, of course, but others don't see me that way. There was no such thing as an idiot Empress in the world.
"It's as I said. I... I'm not qualified, Cerden."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"I'm Spelman, and I'm an idiot. How can someone like that possibly be the Empress..."
"That's not what you really are. I don't know what the problem is. I've never seen anyone as brave and quick-witted as you. Sometimes you're much better than the knights under my command. Your quick thinking and resourcefulness too."
I'm... really?
I felt embarrassed again after hearing another compliment. I cleared my throat and turned my head.
"I'm the one who decides if you're qualified, not you."
"...Are you going to reveal my identity to the Duchess?"
"I think it would be helpful. Of course, if you agree."
"I'm..."
I stared at Cerden.
What if Cerden and Dimiter became even closer because of me? So solid that no matter what kind of malicious forces attacked, they would never misunderstand each other.
If Spelman hadn't blamed Dimiter for the deaths of the Empress and Lady, the two wouldn't have gone wrong.
Back then, Cerden was an out-of-control runaway train. It was written that he couldn't even think rationally.
Besides, Julia was a smart and capable person. I also thought she was someone I could rely on.
After all, there was no reason to refuse in many ways.
"...Okay. It would be really great if Julia could help me."
I'm going to become thoroughly close with Julia.
"You're not saying you won't do anything dangerous."
"That's..."
There will be moments when I have to move. Like this time.
"Are you planning to volunteer for another kidnapping?"
As expected, he noticed.
"If necessary. Duke Spelman won't kill me. There's a high probability of that. If Lady were dragged away... but if that happens, I'll ask for help."
It would be much better than not being able to convey any words and relying only on vague expectations.
The belief that Cerden would definitely come.
Just that seemed like it would be enough to endure even in that kind of terrible situation.
"...Okay."
Cerden answered coldly.
"Your secret must never be exposed."
"At least until Duke Spelman is dealt with."
"I'll do my best to help."
I gained an ally.
When I first saw Cerden, I felt lost, but before I knew it, we were having this kind of conversation.
Cerden had a more sophisticated way of thinking than I thought. He doesn't have any prejudice just because I'm Spelman's blood.
Besides, he readily offered to help. He was like a ray of light in my frustrating and suffocating daily life.
With Cerden's help, the things I'm trying to do will be a little easier.
"Is Veronica okay?"
"Of course. Who do you think was protecting her?"
"Um, and. Are you going to leave my palace empty like that?"
"I thought that would be more comfortable for you."
"It is, but..."
Isn't the palace too big? Right now, the three people Julia brought were managing the entire huge palace.
That's too much to ask of them.
"It's hard to fill it with only trustworthy people. It's hard to manage if the number gets too large, and there will always be a traitor among them. It's dangerous."
Choose convenience, or...
"It might be good to close a few rooms."
"That sounds like a good idea."
"Do the knights have to keep guarding my palace?"
Once I started talking, I kept asking questions.
"They'll be going back soon."
I see. I nodded. Is that enough?
"But."
"Yes?"
Does he have something else to say?
I blinked, and Cerden swept back his hair. It was a really light gesture, but it caught my eye.
It was like the siren's temptation.
"Are you into glasses?"
"Yes?"
What did he just say?
Cerden recreated the same situation as yesterday. He sat on the table, and pulled me closer.
The difference from yesterday was that he was more unrestrained. My legs were intertwined with Cerden's legs again.
It happened so quickly and naturally that I couldn't react. I held my breath slightly and stared at Cerden.
What did I just hear?
"You kept glancing at them."
Cerden narrowed his eyes.
His eyes, visible through the glasses, curved coolly.
I stared at him blankly.
"Want to touch them?"
Touch what?
Cerden grabbed my hand and pulled it. As if possessed, I stared at the large hand holding my hand.
Cerden lightly placed my hand on the frame of the glasses.
"If you like them that much, you can touch them."
Ah. My heart was pounding. I swallowed hard. My fingers trembled. I tried to pull my hand away, but Cerden grabbed it again.
Cerden pulled my hand down. Cerden, who lightly placed his hand on my lips, smiled.
Breath and laughter scattered under my fingers.
"If you're into glasses, what about without them? I'm into without them too."
What, what is he going to take off!!
50 - Episode 50
Glasses, it must be glasses. It must be glasses. Some lewd demon must have possessed my soul, making me think such strange things!
I pulled my hand away and stepped back.
This is a moment of crisis.
If I'm not careful, I'm going to pounce on him. To see him naked... Aaaagh!
Think good thoughts!
Gasping for breath, I chose my words. Then I blurted them out quickly.
"A-and I had something to tell you!"
There was something I had been agonizing over how to say anyway. Now that he knows I'm not an idiot, I should just say it outright.
And it was also a suitable topic to calm me down, as I was overheating.
"I-I think Duke Spelman has hidden something in the museum!"
It was a conclusion I had reached by putting together several memories. Things I had thought were a little strange came to mind when I heard that Duke Spelman had given up Augustine to get the museum.
"T-there was something I thought was strange... Duke Spelman reacted a little sensitively to the basement!"
"Are you talking about the supply warehouse?"
Cerden said as if doing me a favor.
Why are you doing me a favor!
My breathing kept getting faster.
"No, no. The main building. He said that precious materials were stored there, so you shouldn't go in carelessly, but his reaction was a little strange."
I spoke quickly, like I was rapping.
It was the day I visited the museum with Veronica. Spelman coldly refused Veronica's request to see the stored materials.
'Lady wouldn't be able to recognize them even if she saw them. It's better to protect them than to damage them. For the sake of future scholars.'
Even I thought it was a nasty thing to say. Duke Spelman definitely did it on purpose. To upset Veronica and drive her away. Veronica wasn't the type to get stubborn and rush in, so she ran away with a flushed face.
Anyway, there's something there.
"The main building, huh."
Cerden nodded.
"That's helpful. I had to search in a limited amount of time."
I'm glad to hear that.
"...Then shouldn't we go quickly? You said time was short..."
Cerden stared at me with a low gaze. The gaze felt sharp through his glasses.
I swallowed.
Cerden smiled readily and let me go.
"Alright, I'll let you off the hook this time."
What are you letting me off the hook for?
...Thank you so much for letting me off the hook.
I fled from the spot.
* * *
Mortega examined Cerden, who was smiling. He had been alone with Evelyn for quite a long time, and since then, Cerden seemed to be in a much better mood.
He also looked refreshed, as if he had slept well, which he usually couldn't do.
Before Mortega could ask anything, Cerden spoke first.
"Did you search the basement of the museum's main building?"
"Yes, Your Highness."
Cerden nodded.
"You didn't find anything strange?"
"Did you find something out? Nothing has come up so far."
Basement, basement. Cerden focused on those words. And he also remembered that Spelman had been involved in the construction of the building in various ways.
"...Have the floor of the basement archive completely torn up. See if anything else comes out from underneath. We need to hurry."
Mortega couldn't ask any more questions he was curious about. As Cerden said, there was no time. There were only 5 days left.
There was a mountain of things to be solved within that time. Mortega hurried out, and Cerden leaned back in his chair.
Cerden fiddled with his glasses, then took them off and placed them on the table.
"So, she runs away like this."
Occasionally, he felt Evelyn looking at him as if licking him with her eyes. Those eyes, which seemed to be drooling somewhere.
Things that weren't clear before became clear after yesterday's conversation.
He knew that look.
Rozalina often looked at Cerden with those eyes. The only difference was that Rozalina's gaze gave him the creeps, but Evelyn's...
It made him want to respond somehow.
Or rather, it made him feel impatient.
The way she subtly turned her eyes away, pretending not to notice when their eyes met, was even audacious.
It felt cute rather than unpleasant.
"Provoking me."
What he said to Evelyn was sincere.
He was letting her go this time only. He didn't intend to do that every time. Cerden wasn't a good man enough to turn a blind eye to such provocations.
Emotions kept arising in him because of Evelyn.
He got angry, worried, didn't understand... and felt fluttery.
Yes, that emotion was fluttery. He remembered Evelyn in the early dawn, sleeping in his arms.
She had a baby-like face.
Cerden was comforted by that peaceful, relieved face.
The sound of her soft breathing tickled his ears. Even though they were sleeping uncomfortably tangled together on the narrow sofa, he felt refreshed as if he had slept soundly.
That was probably the magic that Evelyn had cast. Evelyn was pitiful and pathetic.
But more than that... she was strange.
It was an emotion he had never experienced before. Something unknown that Cerden didn't know.
He could only feel it because it was Evelyn. For the first time, he didn't find a weaker and more fragile being disgusting.
The way she struggled and tried to protect herself was rather...
Threatening.
The way she burned with passion to protect others felt dangerous.
She kept shaking him up.
Incredibly intensely.
* * *
"Huff, huff."
I ran away with all my might.
I was serious when I said I might pounce on him if I wasn't careful. I had never experienced a man as handsome as him, and thanks to that, I had no immunity.
Cerden was probably just acting as usual without any intention, but I was the only one wavering.
"Let's not do this, Evelyn."
I pinched my cheek hard.
I should avoid being in the secret room as much as possible in the future... no, how can I avoid it. I drooped with a tearful face. There will be more and more situations where the two of us have to talk.
The fact that Cerden and I had a secret was exciting and dangerous.
Especially, I was in danger, me!
I need to train myself.
Should I do 108 prostrations? And meditate. I can only control the desires within me if I control myself.
I was returning to the Crown Princess's palace while having such idle thoughts when someone called me.
"Evelyn."
Ah.
"Ver?"
I blinked. Veronica ran to me with a pale face. That's right, Veronica was here too.
"Why are you walking around alone? What if you get lost? It's a big deal if you get caught up in something dangerous, Evelyn. You must never walk around alone."
Kind blue eyes that were worried about me. Knowing that she was the one who was almost kidnapped, she was only worried about me. I saw the maids lined up behind Veronica, patting my hand.
They all had faces with their own ulterior motives. Their gazes pulled me back to reality from the dreamlike state I had been in.
I still have to be the perfect idiot, Evelyn.
"Eeeing, I was playing hide-and-seek! Actually..."
"Yes, tell me."
"I went to see my husband! Julia won't let me eat candy."
"Aha. I see."
Veronica said with a serious face.
"Ung! She tells me to eat carrots and bell peppers too! Evelyn hates that so much!"
Veronica didn't seem to suspect my natural lies at all.
"Oh dear, so you went to Cerden."
"Ver hates it too, right? Ugh. It's really bad."
Veronica let out a faint sigh.
"Yes, I hate it. I'm glad to see you're safe. For a while, Cerden blocked any knights from entering Evelyn's palace."
That's Cerden's doing.
He had made my palace a completely clean zone. Even now, the empty palace was quiet and desolate.
"Oooong?"
I tilted my head as if I didn't know anything.
"Evelyn didn't know! Why?"
"I don't know. Cerden didn't tell me anything. I'll take you there, Evelyn."
Veronica's expression clouded over.
I should feel sorry for her, but for a moment, I felt even more sorry for Cerden.
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