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“Hee-jin. Being blindly immersed isn't always a good thing.”
However, her mentor, Professor Giuseppe Esposito, used to point out that it was a bad habit.
“If you get intoxicated by emotion, you can lose the stability of the rhythm. Failing to perceive when you are speeding up or slowing down is fatal. Hee-jin, your technical proficiency is very high, but you must restrain yourself from getting carried away by the music. You must play while calculating and thinking more thoroughly.”
Despite her talent, this was the decisive reason why she failed to place in the world's top competitions.
The more pressure she felt in important settings, the more excessively she immersed herself in emotion, and eventually, she crossed the line.
It happened during the final round of the most important competition.
For the first time, Hee-jin experienced a loss of control over her fingers. The feeling of her fingers moving on their own, despite being her own, was truly terrifying. Since then, whenever she participated in a major competition, she couldn't fully immerse herself due to the fear that it might happen again. It was not a position one could win in while their concentration was fragmented.
It was a habit she had desperately tried to fix, but today, she wanted to forget even those thoughts and simply be intoxicated by the music. Without knowing how much time had passed, Hee-jin played her violin over and over until she was completely exhausted.
By the time she left the practice room, it was already dark. After a moment of hesitation, Hee-jin began to walk aimlessly. All that remained was to return to the hotel, but for some reason, her feet wouldn't move in that direction. Yet, there was nowhere else to go. She didn't particularly want to contact her father or her maternal relatives.
Maybe she should contact a friend who was working in Korea after graduating from university. As she scrolled through her phone with that thought, a savory smell of oil suddenly wafted toward her. It wasn't just a delicious smell; it was a scent that triggered nostalgia.
“Hotteok? It's been a while since I've seen this.”
It wasn't a street stall but a regular shop, and the smell of hotteok being grilled in an open kitchen installed toward the entrance filled the street. When was the last time she had eaten it? A scene of some market began to surface in her mind. As she approached, drawn in by the smell of the hotteok frying in oil, an employee spoke to her first.
“Would you like two?”
“Yes... what?”
Hee-jin, who had nodded reflexively, suddenly felt something strange and asked back.
“Two, please.”
At that moment, Hee-jin flinched at a voice from behind and turned around. She saw Seok-hyun, who was nonchalantly ordering hotteok as if he had known exactly where she was. The claim that he happened to be passing by was something not even a dog would believe.
“How did you know I was here?”
“It's not that hard.”
With a smirk, Seok-hyun pointed to the fish cake skewers next to them and asked, “Want some?” His hand was already holding a skewer. As Hee-jin just stared at him in absurdity, he brought the fish cake to his mouth. Seeing him eat it heartily, even dipping it thoroughly in the seasoned soy sauce, Hee-jin was left speechless.
“So, did the meeting with your father go well?”
“…….”
What was his intention in asking that after they had run into each other in front of the practice room? She couldn't tell if he was hinting that he knew she had lied, or if he believed she had gone to the practice room after meeting her father. While Hee-jin looked at him in silence, the golden-brown hotteok was finished. Seok-hyun took both and held one out to her.
“Here. You have to eat it while it's hot. Be careful.”
Smelling the sweet and savory scent of the hotteok in his hand, her blurred memories suddenly became vivid. It was her father who used to buy her hotteok at the entrance of a crowded market. She remembered her father's face, blowing on the hotteok several times for fear that Hee-jin might burn her mouth. She must have been around six years old.
“Aren't you eating?”
Seeing her just stare at the hotteok, Seok-hyun tilted his head. Suddenly, Hee-jin didn't even want to look at the hotteok anymore, so she shook her head.
“I'm fine. I don't want any.”
“Why? Are you upset? Is it because I came to find you?”
“Not exactly... no, that's also part of it. You're like a stalker.”
“It's because you didn't answer several of my calls. I was worried, so give me a break.”
At the mention of the missed calls, she finally remembered that she had set her phone to silent. Even though she had said she wouldn't check it today, it seemed he hadn't given up and kept contacting her.
“Take it. You might want to eat it later.”
After paying, Seok-hyun pressed the bag containing the packaged hotteok into her hand.
“Being emotional isn't a good thing, Noona.”
She wanted to refuse, but not wanting to bicker, she simply took it.
The hotel wasn't very far. They walked in silence and stopped at a crosswalk. The hotel was right across the street. Seok-hyun, who had been staring at Hee-jin as she brushed back her hair fluttering in the wind, spoke up.
“You can meet the director tomorrow, right?”
“Um... yeah.”
Hee-jin had no intention of telling Go Seok-hyun that she had decided to return to the United States. She knew that if she told him, he would obviously try to persuade her to reconsider, so she wanted to avoid wasting time. Of course, there was also a hesitation that he might demand to know if she was gambling with her life. Perhaps a small sense of revenge was included as well.
“What time should we meet?”
“I don't know. I'll match your schedule. That's how it's always been, right?”
“…….”
Seok-hyun gradually felt the limit of maintaining his smile. When he first heard she was going to have dinner with her father, he didn't know it was a lie. He hadn't imagined that Yoo Hee-jin could lie so nonchalantly.
“How about lunch? We can get acquainted while having a meal.”
“Let's do that.”
While he observed Hee-jin, who readily agreed to his suggestion, the light changed. Hee-jin looked at him, asking if he wasn't going to cross. In that scene where only Yoo Hee-jin remained still amidst the people passing by, Seok-hyun couldn't take his eyes off her. Yoo Hee-jin sparkled like this everywhere and captured his gaze.
“You didn't cross. Why are you suddenly like this?”
Deciding that they had missed the signal this time, Hee-jin approached Seok-hyun. Finding it strange that he had stopped like a broken person, she examined his face from up close. Seok-hyun grabbed Hee-jin's hand as it moved back and forth in front of him.
“I was short-sighted.”
“Huh?”
“You said your hands stiffen even if you don't practice for a single day, right? I should have provided a proper studio first. But I focused on things like variety shows and broadcasts first.”
“…….”
“I'll find a studio. Use it whenever you like.”
Hee-jin felt a strange strength in Seok-hyun's hand gripping hers. It felt as if he were holding her so she couldn't shake him off.
“…Thanks for the consideration.”
With a thin smile, Hee-jin lowered her arm while leaving her hand in Seok-hyun's. Seok-hyun looked down at that hand and then gripped it properly with his left hand. He didn't let go until they had completely crossed the crosswalk. They looked like a couple affectionately holding hands.
Stopping in front of the hotel lobby, Hee-jin turned to look at him. As the extravagant golden lights of the hotel poured over Hee-jin, Seok-hyun momentarily lost himself and swallowed hard.
“Let go now.”
“It's a shame to part ways like this. How about a drink upstairs?”
At the suggestion of having a drink at the lounge bar, Hee-jin looked troubled. Shaking her head slightly, she spoke in a small, whispering voice. Seok-hyun instinctively leaned in to catch her voice.
“It's not good to mix in personal feelings. Others will misunderstand.”
“What misunderstanding? Are you still bothered by the nonsense Yuna spouted out of jealousy?”
“I don't know... If you're sincerely sponsoring me, we should distinguish between public and private matters. Don't you agree?”
Tucking the hair covering her face behind her ear, Hee-jin shook her hand slightly, asking him to let go. However, the more she did, the tighter Seok-hyun's grip became. Frowning as if her hand hurt, Hee-jin spoke in a firmer voice.
“No one will believe that this sponsorship was earned purely through my skill. There's no need to receive such negative views.”
“Noona... you can just prove it with your skill.”
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