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LOS 68
Young Eloise, who knew nothing of the world, believed that everything would be resolved as long as she received the love and recognition of her family. She thought that being slapped or hearing words that scarred her heart was all due to her own inadequacies.
It was Yohan who made her realize that the root of all these problems did not stem from her own faults. It was quite ironic. Though he had tried to strip her clothes, it was thanks to that incident that she was able to break out of her shell.
“Anna, may I ask you one thing?”
Adele asked cautiously. Naturally, I nodded.
“Anything.”
“About Giles Hessen. What kind of person is he? I mean, the Giles that Anna thinks of. Not the opinions in the newspapers. Since you were with him for a long time, you might know him better.”
“What do you think he is, Adele?”
“I wouldn't know. I've never met him, and I've only read what the newspapers chatter about. I'm curious about what kind of person Hessen was to Anna. Like you said, this is the kind of thing that never appears in the papers.”
Giles. What kind of person was he? At first, I too had looked at him through the same lens as the public opinion of Beldam. Fear. Endless terror. And a hatred that lay stifled at the bottom. But now, what I could say was clear.
It wasn't that I had seen through him completely. We had only been together for a few months. However, during that short time, he had opened his inner self wide and invited me inside. So that I could fully look back at the person he was...
“I think he was a lonely person. He was isolated alone in a world that was both vast and narrow. You know, no matter how much he surrendered, he was ultimately a Beldam native caught among the people of Ipswin who harbored ill will toward Beldam. I know what it feels like to constantly be an outsider. That's why I could understand him. Of course, I understood his desire to survive as well. Giles was happy to have found someone like me, but at the same time, I think he feared me every time he dealt with me. Fearing that I might burn him up, just as I had burned everything around me.”
“He must have treated you very well.”
“I was like the last sanctuary left for Giles.”
Giles was always anxious that he might lose me. That was why he always followed behind me. Rather than looking after his own safety, he chose to throw himself into danger to save me.
“I naturally thought he was the one in the higher position... but that wasn't it. The one with the power to move the other party was me. It's funny that I've only realized this now. What's the point of knowing now? He's in prison, and he'll be dead soon...”
My eyes met Adele's. I didn't know if Adele empathized with my words, but regardless, I did not hesitate or stop.
“Adele, is there any way Giles could survive?”
“What? That can't be. He will undoubtedly be sentenced to death. It's something that has been scheduled for a very long time.”
“But I want him to survive.”
I spoke while looking straight into Adele's eyes.
“I want Giles to live.”
Adele seemed unable to find the words to answer; she hesitated and dropped her gaze to the table. I hadn't expected her to agree with me. In the first place, I hadn't spoken to seek her agreement. I simply wanted to give voice to the wish that had been lingering in my heart.
“I understand if you cannot comprehend me for this.”
“No, if the person involved says so, what could I possibly add? Of course, it's true that I don't quite grasp it... but Anna, you truly feel that way.”
Adele reached out with both hands and squeezed my right hand. She was smiling as if to comfort me.
“Of course, I don't think I can understand everything. I wasn't there, and I've only heard the stories. But if there is anything you want to say, please tell me anytime. I'm good at one thing: listening. Truly, just listening. I won't make assumptions or misunderstand. So, if you ever need someone to listen, please find me. After all, Anna is our young lady.”
“...Thank you.”
“It's only right that I do so. Now, Anna, I'll ask the next question. You must answer carefully.”
I widened my eyes and looked at Adele.
She tossed a playful question at me.
“What would you like for dessert?”
-
Arent Holtzman was on his way back from meeting Luise. Major Luise Gottlieb. The great war had pinned the major's insignia on her chest, but in exchange, it had completely stolen the youth that Luise should have enjoyed.
This was not a story limited only to the past. War aged the young and made them spend their entire lives longing for the pale days of the past, like a rising dawn.
Luise acted quite dissatisfied about being put in charge of Giles Hessen. She smoked chain-cigarettes throughout her entire conversation with Arent.
“I don't know why it had to be me.”
She said.
“Of course, it's because it had to be me. There must have been a reason. Still, I'm still displeased.”
“What is so displeasing?”
“I was just in the same year as Giles Hessen! It's annoying that I'm being linked to that bastard just because we attended the academy together. In reality, I know almost nothing about Hessen. It's been a long time since we were classmates. Even if it's true that we were somewhat close, this still makes no sense. That bastard isn't the same person he was back then.”
“Your mission is simply to manage Giles Hessen until the trial is handed down at the appropriate time. It shouldn't be a very difficult mission, so please do not complain too much. The higher-ups likely won't appreciate your opinion.”
“What, are you threatening to snitch to the top?”
Luise chuckled and exhaled cigarette smoke. Beneath eyes that must have sparkled brightly back when she was first commissioned, there remained dark traces of long-standing fatigue and insomnia.
She was no longer the Luise of her cadet days. Giles Hessen was the same. That was exactly the point Luise wanted to make.
“Actually, I didn't want to meet that bastard. That's why I wanted to stay as far away from this mission as possible. Instead, it rolled right to my feet.”
“Hessen isn't exactly the type of person one would want to meet.”
“It's not just because his record is illustrious. It's just... ah, fuck. How do I put this?”
Luise, holding a cigarette in one hand and scratching the back of her head with the other, eventually sighed and spoke.
“As you know... war, once you're caught in that vortex, residue gets stuck in every corner of your soul. Even if you look at the same scenery or objects, you can never see them with the same eyes as before. For example, I really loved the sky. I thought it was fascinating how the colors changed even after a short while. I felt it was similar to a person's heart.”
She paused for a moment to take another drag of her cigarette. Arent listened to Luise's words in silence.
“But you see. Now, it's hard to even look up at the sky. As you know, the enemy air force was quite formidable. Whenever I look up, it feels as if a roar is echoing in my ears. That roar the flight squadron makes when they take to the sky. Of course, I know the war is over. I know there's no longer any chance of an air raid. But even though my head knows it's impossible, my nerves react first. Now, I've become a person who can't even lie back comfortably and enjoy a sunset sky.”
“...So, what is the point you are trying to make?”
“I'm contaminated. I can't see things as they are. I just live while clinging to memories of the days when things were clean. Back in my cadet days, I didn't know I would become like this. And I didn't know Giles Hessen would become like that either.”
Luise, laughing softly in self-derision, stepped on the now-short cigarette butt with her combat boot to extinguish it.
“That's why those days are truly precious to me. Because it's the clearest and cleanest time I can remember. I wanted to keep those days intact. Myself, the classmates I studied and trained with, and...”
“Giles Hessen as well.”
“I think I was afraid that if I saw that bastard's face again... if I confirmed with my own eyes how Giles had changed, it would become difficult to recall those days I love.”
The man, who had unintentionally become a part of her most precious memory fragments, had returned as a state-certified demon. Of course, there remained trap-like questions that no one could yet answer definitively.
Was he truly as evil as the image orchestrated by Beldam?
Did he really whistle in front of his sister's corpse, and was he most satisfied when killing children?
Were those stories truly true?
“So, how was it meeting him? Was he as you expected?”
Luise bit her lip and then turned her head away.
“I don't know, I'm not sure.”
Why did she avoid the answer? Of course, it wasn't a crucial question. Luise's opinion would not be reflected in the massive operation surrounding Giles Hessen.
Arent stopped reminiscing and stopped the car in a place slightly away from the city center. A woman wrapped in a shawl was waiting for him. When Arent lowered the window, she climbed into the passenger seat.
Her name was Adele, and she worked as a servant for the Bismar family.
“Was there any progress?”
“...I haven't heard much yet. She has only just entered the mansion.”
“But she must have let slip a few important words. Isn't that right?”
Adele hesitated. She surely felt uneasy, as if she were betraying Anna. However, she had no choice but to open her mouth.
All of this was for the sake of Beldam.
“The young lady loves Giles Hessen very much,” she said in a low voice.
“The young lady said she wants him to survive. She said she would make sure that happens.”
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