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LOS 69
I had another nightmare. The first was a dream where I watched Giles die.
Waking up in the early hours of the dawn, drenched in sweat, I fell back asleep immediately, and this time, I returned to the past in my dream. To the time when I was a child, living in the mansion on the Salzburg estate.
In the dream, my father stuffed my mouth full of marbles, tapped my head, and cursed at me. He asked what I was even capable of saying properly. He tried to insult me, saying that in this state, I would be a perfect fit to be a beggar's bride.
Of course, these were all things that had actually happened. In the dream, I was no longer a child, so I wanted to scream at the Count that even if he swapped me for a beggar, no one would be able to tell the difference in vulgarity, but I couldn't because the marbles filled my mouth.
Even now, having woken from the dream, it was infuriating. I washed my face cursorily in the small bathroom attached to my room and stepped outside the mansion.
Coming outside gave me a definite feeling of breathing room. This mansion, after all, didn't have a very positive influence on me. First of all, it was far too similar to the old mansion where I had spent those nightmare-like years. I felt a sense of déjà vu, as if I had returned to that time, and sometimes my chest felt tight.
A few servants managing the mansion gave me a slight bow. I returned their greetings and wandered freely around the grounds until I encountered a familiar face.
It was Josef, the servant who had brought me from the hospital to the mansion. He was polishing the very car I had arrived in.
When our eyes met, he gave a small nod.
“Good morning, Miss.”
“Just call me Anna.”
“I heard you told Adele to do so.”
Josef spoke with a slight smile. His attitude was as if he had heard a peculiar story. Since I didn't think there was anything special about my decision, I didn't mind.
“What’s wrong with that?”
“It’s just not something noble ladies usually say.”
“I’m not a noble.”
However, my declaration didn't seem to be accepted at all.
“I really am. I’ve never once thought of myself as a noble.”
“You are the heir to Count Bismar’s house.”
“Just because my father is a banker doesn't mean his daughter has to be one too.”
“Then how do you define yourself, Miss?”
Wasn't it simple? I spoke as if stating an obvious fact.
“An heiress.”
“Is that all?”
“Yes. I simply inherited the assets.”
“Even though you might inherit the title soon?”
“What’s the point of a title in a world where the leader of a country is chosen by vote? We live in an era where a throne is nothing more than a fancy chair. I don't want to be outdated. After spending time with people who act like nobles, I realized even more that it's a more pathetic act than that of a court jester.”
Josef simply shrugged. He seemed to think that I would soon change my mind.
Of course, I would not revoke my decision. Just look at the catastrophe those who clung to anachronistic ways eventually reached. If you cannot properly follow the flow of the times, that is how it ends.
Above all, I had no intention of settling down comfortably while pretending to be a noble. In the first place, I didn't think I could do that on this land.
Everyone knew about Eloise Bismarck. Even now, there were likely groups of people reading stories about me in the newspapers and adding their own comments.
I missed Giles. What would it be like if he were by my side? If the man polishing the car next to me were Giles instead of a servant.
For a moment, I imagined living with Giles in this mansion I had inherited. In a world where no war had broken out, and where our names weren't printed side-by-side in the newspapers.
But such a thing would never happen. I must not try to ignore reality. Giles would soon receive a death sentence, and I would have to live my whole life suffering from the attention and aftermath of the press. That was reality.
“What are you thinking about so deeply?”
“I'm thinking that I want to run away somewhere.”
“You've already run away to this place. You'll be safe within Beldam.”
“I just... feel like I want to go even further. My heart feels so stifled I can't stand it.”
I leaned against the car and joked.
“Who knows? Maybe if I fly through the sky in a plane, I could reach the moon.”
“Would there be a need to go all the way there?”
“Because I'm frustrated. It feels like a corner of my heart is completely blocked. It would be great if I could resolve this somehow.”
It felt even worse because, no matter how much I thought about it, there seemed to be nothing I could do. How could Giles and I escape this ordeal together? I had no power. All I had was wealth, but this wasn't a problem that could be solved with money.
I wished I were inside a movie. If so, we would eventually overcome the crisis dramatically in the end and leave to find a new home. Just as every cliché movie does.
Giles had saved me from the threat of death several times, yet I could do nothing for him.
I reached a point where I couldn't even stand staying still with nothing to do. Feeling that I needed to do something to satisfy myself, I abruptly climbed into the car Josef had been polishing. Specifically, into the driver's seat.
“Miss, what are you doing?”
I made a request to Josef, who was looking at me in bewilderment.
“Teach me how to drive.”
“Pardon?”
“Driving. I said teach me. I want to try driving a car too.”
“Driving... you mean?”
I nodded. Josef looked around with a troubled expression, but in the end, he couldn't refuse my request.
“It's not exactly a difficult task.”
He got into the seat next to me—the passenger seat. In the silence, only the sound of birds chirping tickled my ears.
“Seatbelt...”
“I've done it.”
“Yes, good. Then...”
He handed me the car keys. It wasn't that I had zero experience with cars. Giles had often driven me around. At the very least, I had watched from the side. I succeeded in inserting the key and starting the engine, just as Giles had done.
At that, Josef took a deep breath.
“What is it?”
“It's nothing.”
“I don't know what comes after this. What should I do?”
“Miss, you've never held a steering wheel before, have you?”
What an obvious thing to say. I nodded confidently. This was just my guess, but I thought this was also Josef's first time teaching someone how to drive.
Looking clearly nervous, he showed me how to change the gear.
“If you push it back, the car moves forward. Now... see? Since I changed the gear, the car has started to move.”
“It's too slow. What do I do to go faster?”
“You step on the accelerator. That's the second pedal... Miss!”
The moment his words left his mouth, I stepped hard on the accelerator. The car lunged forward with terrifying momentum. Fortunately, we were in a wide open space with no obstacles blocking the path, so we avoided crashing into anything.
Josef, seemingly having completely forgotten his position and etiquette as a servant, began to frantically slap my shoulder.
“Miss, it's too fast! That's not how you step on the accelerator! Your foot! Take your foot off!”
“What? I can't hear you!”
“Take your foot off the accelerator!”
I did as he told me. The car stopped accelerating but continued to move forward. Even without his instruction, I turned the steering wheel on my own and raced freely across the wide open space.
I felt much better. Of course, the damn reality hadn't improved at all, but still, I could feel a small sense of liberation.
I let out a joyful scream, feeling the wind blowing through the half-open window. Of course, Josef was also screaming. Though he didn't seem to be enjoying himself very much.
I briefly wondered how wonderful it would be if I could just ignore everything and leave far away.
When the car finally came to a stop, someone was waiting for me.
Josef stepped out of the car, staggering with a haggard face, looking like someone who had barely survived a fierce battle with a brown bear. He was in no state to greet a guest. So, I let Josef rest for a bit and went out to meet the visitor alone.
The one who had come to see me was Arent. That fellow who said he worked for the intelligence agency. He looked back and forth between the half-dead Josef and me, furrowing his brow in confusion.
“What on earth happened?”
“I learned a bit of driving.”
“Why suddenly driving?”
“I just suddenly felt like trying it. Is there a problem?”
“No, there isn't.”
He looked at the servant with a pitiful gaze, then composed his expression and spoke.
“The reason I've come is that I have a proposal for you.”
“What kind of proposal?”
“To put it briefly, a radio station will be running an interview program. They sent a telegram saying it would be wonderful if Miss Eloise could participate.”
“I refuse.”
There was no need to think long. I couldn't understand why Arent had decided to accept this stupid proposal. With all sorts of newspapers already blabbing my story, why on earth would I want to add more to it?
However, the words Arent spoke next left me speechless.
“If you do this well, you may be able to meet Giles Hessen for a short while.”
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